[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Glenn Beck Saves Show by Not Offering Job to Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin, half-term pundit, is still looking for a job

God knows I love her, but we can’t have that kinda crazy around here. ~ Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck says that when he heard Sarah Palin was leaving Fox News, he couldn’t have been happier.

Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin“Now she will make something of herself, like I did,” he said proudly, adding “There is, after all, life after Fox.”

When Beck was fired from Fox back in the middle of 2011, many wondered if he’d ever recover from that mighty slap in the face by Roger Ailes. They aren’t wondering any longer, however. The answer is “No, he didn’t recover…yet.”

With the same fate befalling Sarah Palin, many speculated Beck would unite with the Alaskan ice queen, taking her into his fold and giving Palin her own show on his latest venture, TheBlaze.

TheBlaze TV is Beck’s internet television network (formerly GBTV—which name was abandoned by Beck for sounding too gay.)

“I like the sound of it,” said Beck at first (TheRogue, Sarah Palin, you know, not GBTV) as he tossed around the idea of TheBlaze going rogue.

“Sarah might just be the drug we need to pump even more life into the veins of TheBlaze,” Beck answered when asked what exactly Sarah could bring to the show.

“Sarah Palin puts the “pug” in pugnacious,” said a fired-up Beck.

But almost as quickly as he entertained the thought of bringing Sarah on board, he reneged on the potential deal, resulting in a collective sigh of relief by everyone associated with Beck’s internet television show.

“Some people say I’m crazy,” said Beck, “but I’m not that crazy.”

Palin was asked about Beck’s unofficial offer to give her a shot on TheBlaze TV network. She responded in her usual feigned interest voice “Beck who? Oh, Glenn Beck. Is he still around?”

In a related news story, Tina Fey has pleaded with her fans to stop texting her, asking what she is going to do now that she no longer works for Fox News.

P. Beckert