Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Twinkies, Royal Babies & More

Smaller Twinkies seen as un-American

Hostess Twinkies returned Tuesday but the new Twinkies weigh less and have less calories than old Twinkies. Reaction was bad. In Los Angeles black people rioted over the Zimmerman verdict while white people rioted over Hostess shorting them four grams.

Prince William and Kate had police escorts ready to take her to St. Mary’s Hospital in London where the hospital staff is on alert. The baby is due this week. The royal birth is of huge interest throughout the English-speaking world, and in Los Angeles as well

London bookies are reporting huge bets over whether the royal baby will be a girl or boy. It’s not harmless fun for everybody. A civil war broke out on the Kansas-Missouri border over whether royalty begins at conception, during the third trimester, or at birth.

Mexican drug lord Miguel Trevino was caught in Mexico Monday. The notorious leader beheads foes and boils them alive in oil. He’s so brutal that he interrupted Jennifer Lopez while she was singing Happy Birthday to him and told her that she should stick to dancing.

Journal Lancet warned that sitting on a couch and doing nothing is as dangerous to your health as smoking or obesity. They said doing nothing can kill you. That’s silly, if inactivity could kill you, the floor of the U.S. Congress would be littered with dead bodies.

The New York Mets home stadium Citi Field hosted Major League Baseball’s annual All-Star Game on Tuesday. The conditions were sweltering. It was so hot and humid in New York that everybody was sweating like George Zimmerman in a Harlem barber chair.

George Zimmerman verdict protesters smashed windows in Oakland and broke into a few stores Monday before the police could arrive to restore order. One music store was extensively looted. They took everything in the store except all the country music CDs.

L.A. protesters blocked the Santa Monica Freeway following the George Zimmerman verdict Sunday. Not many minded. Support for the blockade was widespread because it gave thousands of drivers stalled on the freeway the feeling that it was legal to text now.

NSA fugitive Ed Snowden formally applied for temporary political asylum in Russia on Tuesday. He claimed in his plea that if he returns to the United States he would never receive a fair trial. He can just see himself shooting a black man and getting convicted for it.

Attorney General Eric Holder ripped Florida’s stand-your-ground law on Tuesday. He said anyone who is confronted by violence should be encouraged to retreat safely. Before entering law school Eric Holder was a drill instructor for the French Foreign Legion.

Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz Cheney announced Tuesday she’ll run in the GOP Senate primary in Wyoming against three-term veteran Senator Mike Enzi. She’s smart. Liz Cheney is often confused with her sister Mary so her family nickname is The Straight One.

San Diego mayor Rob Filner refused to resign after he admitted sexually harassing women. His fiancee just left him for lewd-texting other women while they were at dinner together. Ladies, when a man tells you the tart looks good, be sure he’s looking at the menu.

Teamsters chief James Hoffa slammed ObamaCare as a disaster for labor unions and their gold-plated health care plans. No one wants it. The very mention of Hoffa’s name made the White House wish ObamaCare would just go away and disappear without a trace.