Ben Carson Examines Trump on MLK Day

Ben Carson weighs in on the president’s mental health with a surprise diagnosis!

Ben Carson

Donald Trump:

“I’m here today — not because I want to deflect on my shitstorm yesterday; but to get behind me — the Martin Luther Vandross birthday thingy.  Oh, sorry — King… here King!

What difference does it make anyway — they all look ali… (stop poking me in the ribs, Pence).

Sorry folks, but Omarosa couldn’t make it in today — the sniffles.  Yes, it’s going around.

Oh, there’s Frederick Douglass — you’re still doing an amazing job!  Worked with him all week!

trump

And, I gotta say, I did see “Roots” & just like clockwork orange — every 2 weeks it gets colored!

And, finally & not a moment too soon… here’s our own Toby Carson — our HUD maven; who took the time to come down here this morning — even with Foreclosures waiting!”

Ben Carson:

“Thank you.  Let us pray — sorry, wrong day.

As a Surgeon of precise precision, I’m here to say after our President’s Exam today — who would’ve thought…

…Tourettes!

Adult on-set, I might add.  But, so easy to cure!  I don’t want to brag, but it was my diagnosis and I volunteered to take the heat and all the swearing.

Under my supervision — we had him holding his breath, drinking water real fast & then scaring him with a Mueller Halloween Mask!

Robert Mueller

We even tried Soap in his mouth, no TV & no Twitter.  ‘Time-Out’ is ridiculous — from 8 am to 11 am — he’s already doing it!

All I can say is — we doctors have patients — if you do!  A little bed-side humor just to keep my license current.

Now that that’s settled; let’s concentrate on America’s holidays — Martin Luther King’s Birthday this month & in February, “President’s Day” celebrating all U.S. Presidents past & present — even those with no collusion!

Yes, it’s been 50 years since Dr. King passed & even though Reagan signed  the Federal Holiday into law in 1983 – our President just inked a Proclamation that’ll get him bragging rights, 20% Equity & 50 cents in Perpetuity for Admission to King’s birth place & burial site in the Trump/King National Park in Georgia!

And, for all you rabid media hounds, I can now report — Trump did in fact, have a Prostate Exam — but sorry to say — we’ll have to pull out the Mueller Mask again!”

Ben Carson examines Trump

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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