The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Trump and Kim Jong-un

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews President Donald Trump, Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un and former NBA star Dennis Rodman.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

donald trump and kim jong-unJERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are President Donald Trump, Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un and former NBA star Dennis Rodman.

DONALD TRUMP

You remind me in many ways of myself. I think we’re going to get along great.

JERRY

Ba ha ha ha.

DENNIS RODMAN

What’s so funny?

JERRY

That ring in your nose. No idiot, the big guy with the orange face sitting next to you.

RODMAN

There is a Korean saying. Even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.

JERRY

Okay, wise guy. What do you get when you cross a fishing line with your sock?

RODMAN

I don’t know.

JERRY

A hook, line and stinker.

KIM JONG-UN

Not funny, Duncan. Remember, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

TRUMP

Isn’t Kim brilliant? I’m honored to be in the same room.

RODMAN

(weeping) I knew this moment in history would happen. All because of me. I had to hide from death threats by Americans.

TRUMP

Because you were friends with Kim?

RODMAN

No. Because I dated Madonna.

JERRY

Tell me, Mr. Trump. Why did you decide to meet with Kim?

KIM

(interrupting) We gonna share Nobel Peace Prize.

JERRY

Please continue, fearless leader.

TRUMP

I wanna see Trump hotels springing up along the shores of North Korea instead of rocket launchers. An NBA team managed by Dennis Rodman.

KIM

I like dat. We gonna call dem da Rockets.

TRUMP

I thought we had a deal to de-nuclearize the peninsula? The name Rockets is a little threatening.

KIM

No deal. Just talk.

JERRY

Kimster. How about freeing 130,000 prisoners from slave labor in your Gulags?

KIM

Fake news. They very happy. I give them three meals a day bread and water.

TRUMP

See what a great leader does for his people? Good idea for the poor in America.

KIM

Trumpster smart. We share same brain.

JERRY

Maybe you should eat that stuff yourself. Hell, you weigh 290 pounds.

KIM

I go on Weight Watchers. Be skinny like Pee Wee Herman. If not, coach disappear.

RODMAN

(laughing) You kill me, man.

KIM

I will if basketball team not winner.

TRUMP

Duncan. Think of all the great things I’ve done since being elected president.

JERRY

We don’t have enough time, so I’ll rattle a few off. You trashed our long-time democratic allies like Canada, Mexico, France and Germany while praising Putin and your new buddy Kim. You attacked the free press, you mocked a disabled man, you slandered war hero Senator John McCain, you put down minorities, you collaborated with the Russians who hacked our elections in 2016.

RODMAN

And he pissed off my brothers in the NFL.

TRUMP

I thought you were on my team. No wonder they call you “The Worm”. You’re fired!

KIM

No, Trump. Dennis my friend. We shoot hoops together.

TRUMP

I went all the way to Singapore to make a deal. And now I don’t trust you. There will be war games on the peninsula starting tomorrow.

KIM

(angry) I fire rockets at Maralago!

TRUMP

My nuclear button is bigger and more powerful than yours. Your face will melt like a popsicle.

KIM

You hair fall off head.

RODMAN

Trump. You’ll look so ugly, even hookers won’t take your money.

TRUMP

Screw you Worm and Rocket Man.

KIM

Beauty skin deep, ugly go to bone.

JERRY

Looks like we’re enemies again. See you tomorrow everyone.

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Dean Kaner

Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. He specializes in comedy and can be hired for corporate events and special occasions like birthdays, bachelor parties, etc. Email [email protected] for more information.
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