PEEPS Anonymous

Peeps

Buy Peeps in packs of 4, 12 or ‘Invasion’!

No, this is not about ‘too many Facebook friends’ it’s about ‘Peeps’ – the luscious marshmallow confection I sink my dentures into.  Yes, my originals were good soldiers & had to go!

Sugar, Corn Syrup, Marshmallow & Gelatin; what could go wrong?

When my grown son gave me stink-eye for eating 5 at one sitting – I didn’t feel so bad because I figured others were worse.  There’s even a ‘Peep-off’ & in 2017 some guy from California won eating 255 Peeps in 5 minutes. 

I heard he doesn’t walk; he bounces!

In the past, it was a long stretch between fixes; I had to go cold turkey after Easter.   You wouldn’t want to see me during that time – it’s not pretty…

But since 2014, they sell ’em for all the holidays – but I guess I do need an Intervention; last Ground Hog Day I ate it twice in one day!

Peeps

What can I say, I’m fascinated by the pillowy Pumpkins, Turkeys & Trump Hats that I see; I don’t know whether to buy it in packs of 4, 12 or ‘Invasion’!

And, I’m such a purist, I’ll only eat the original ‘chick yellow’; not purple, blue, green or plaid!  I’m so in denial, I reason all the others are injected with Dye Numbers 2 thru 10!

I’m not proud of my before-every-holiday-addiction but why would the FDA put it out there to eat if it wasn’t good for you?  And, like every addict; I hide them from myself for leaner times where my Jake Daniels used to be.

That’s right – sometimes I need to pull ’em out on Hump Wednesday!

For now, I’ll do the meetings & the 12 step & let my stomach do the talking; what’s another Bunny?

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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