Horoscopes for Jerks: November, 2018

What’s your sign? Check out your Funny Horoscope November 2018, and the outlook for all those jerks you know, right here!

What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong. Just in case, here’s your Funny Horoscope November 2018. Be sure to share your friends’ snarky outlooks with them, too! (Check out past funny horoscopes here.) 

Zodiac_01-Aries Aries: Give thanks that you have friends and family who understand you’re not always right.
Zodiac_02-Taurus Taurus: Be thankful for anything other than Holiday binge eating… Anything at all.
Zodiac_03-Gemini Gemini: You should be thankful you’re witty and charming enough for anyone to tolerate your fickle duality.
Zodiac_04-Cancer Cancer: Be thankful for your soft innards: they have Omega 3 Fatty Acids that are proven to improve overall health and well being.
Zodiac_05-Leo" Leo: Thank your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers for feeding your pride.
Zodiac_06-Virgo" Virgo: The universe understands it’s very difficult for you to feel thankful… just remember that apathy and analysis won’t change a damn thing.
Zodiac_07-Libra" Libra: It’s okay: you can be grateful for being beautiful, so long as you’re not relying on botox, oxys, and air brush to cope with Cover Girl commercials.
Zodiac_08-Scorpio Scorpio: Happy Birthday Scorpions! When someone trusts you at all, be very thankful – because like a political organization, no one really knows what the hell is going on with you.
Zodiac_09-Sag Sagittarius: You have a wonderful way of being thankful for your accomplishments. Just remember that no matter what memes tell you, the successes of others are not an affront to yours.
Zodiac_10-Cap Capricorn: There may be no reference point for it in popular culture or politics, but go ahead and give thanks for that one time you did something no one expected.
Zodiac_11-Aquarius Aquarius: The next time you feel grateful you have access to boujee parks for your dog to poop, remember that sex trafficking and suicide is still rampant.
Zodiac_12-Pisces Pisces: Float around and feel thankful and hateful for everything and nothing, like you usually do.

zodiac, horoscope November 2018, signs

zodiac, horoscope November 2018, signs
Mosaic pavement of a 6th century synagogue at Beth Alpha, Jezreel Valley, northern Israel. It was discovered in 1928. Signs of the zodiac surround the central chariot of the Sun (a Greek motif), while the corners depict the 4 “turning points” (“tekufot”) of the year, solstices and equinoxes, each named for the month in which it occurs. Enjoy this Funny Horoscope November 2018, and please share!
Jennifer Hollie Bowles
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