Shut Out Federal Workers See What Real Life Is in the Labor Ghetto

I’ve heard about you Federal workers, where a break is considered a regular hourly occurrence.

Newspapers, news stations and radio airwaves are all ripe with the telling of the difficulties of Federal workers now separated from their jobs or working them as neo-slaves promised a future compensation due to the government shutdown.

Federal workersAs most know already, Trump’s quest for a fortification against hordes of central Americans assaulting our southern border has brought about a tug of war that has pulled thousands of government workers into the fray unwillingly. The Dems refuse to put out money for the wall or to recognize its significance and the Republicans refuse to recognize the Dems as having brains or of being anything less than subversives wearing ties as a disguise.

At present the government shutdown is affecting around 800,000 Federal workers. That is about 40% of the 2 million employees that there are. The averaged out wage per hour of these employees is about $37.00 an hour. Worked out as a percentage of…

WHOA! Wait a minute… these turkeys are making THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS AN HOUR ON AVERAGE!!!… Did they really say THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS AN HOUR??? Great God of Mercy! That ain’t wages! That is grand larceny! DAMN! That is my money these pirates are getting! No wonder the IRS is on my case very year!. These bozos are taking it faster than I can make it. JESUS HUMPHREY CHRIST!!!

37 dollars an hour! That is more than twice what I make on a good day! And these crackers are whining about being out of money after only two weeks of unemployment. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SAVINGS ACCOUNTS??? They have them in places called BANKS where they put your money in STEEL VAULTS so you can come get in later when you are old and wrinkled and CAN’T WORK ANY MORE. That is… IF YOU ARE WORKING AT ALL TO BEGIN WITH!!!

You have been working how many years and you don’t have any money saved? I don’t care if I had four kids I could save money at $37 dollars an hour and be living good. “What’s that Belinda? You want another Barby? You already got two, Any more and we might have catfights between them every night!” “You say you need another a new video game Bernard? Here, here are pencils and paper! I will teach you how to play tic, tac toe!” “We don’t need no new car dear! This one still has all four wheels. So what if the pain is peeled so bad it looks like birds pooped on it! It still gets us where we need to go.”

I could always save money on the pittances that I made. Let me help you with your finances — Save time by getting rid of 2 of those 3 big screen TV’s that you got. You’ll have a lot more time to exercise so that you don’t have to use your car to go two blocks to the drugstore to get your prescriptions. Forget those pretentious wines you buy with weird names to make you think they aren’t pretentious and are cool instead. They aren’t; they are still just fermented grape juice whether they come from France or Kansas.

I heard about you Federal employees. A break is considered a regular hourly occurrence. Come on down to the working class part of society and see what a break is! A BREAK HERE IS THE MAN ALLOWING TO YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATHE ONCE IN A WHILE WORKING YOUR ASPHALT OFF!

Now some people in Congress are passing laws to help non-working government employees to keep creditors back and to get them money to help with food and rent? NOBODY DOES THAT FOR ME! OR ANYBODY ELSE THAT I KNOW!. If you can’t pay the rent you get to go outside and use snow for a blanket. If you don’t have money for food you quickly discover what supermarket dumpsters are the best for rummaging. Federal service people seem like some sort of fancy gang- they get really good at helping each other out with OUR money!

They got special food banks set up for the fed workers experiencing hunger.

EXPERIENCING HUNGER? Hunger is when your belt don’t fit you no more. Hunger is when you rifle through the McDonald’s trash to get the half eaten burgers! Hunger is when you are losing so much weight that your pants fall down to your ankles and it ain’t because you are following Marie Osmonds’ lose weight while eating cake diet plans. NOOOOO!!! For us real working stiffs you are losing weight because you are competing with the rats for that pasta way back in the shelf behind the bowls that you forgot about. Going hungry means you are living in a neighborhood where there are no grocery stores anymore and you are too weak and tired to go to where there are some!

Also, food banks and soup kitchens are supposed to be for the HOMELESS AND INDIGENT! You are a long way from that.

Some are taking temporary jobs at a quarter of their Fed wages until the shutdown ends. Hey, nothing an employer wants to hear more than “I’ll have to quit when my other job starts back up.” You are having to work for a quarter of what you were making? Welcome to what life is like for the rest of us!!!!! And at these jobs you really have to WORK!!!! No slacking here. No taking a break for a cigarette every 20 minutes. If you do your next job will be at 100% less than this new job you got.

Some are getting unemployment benefits. Hey folks, see what it is like being on the receiving side of government bureaucracy! What’s that? You won’t get your benefits for a week! Wow, welcome to modern America. A weeks training will start you on your way to scrimping, saving, and scrounging your way to survival. Just a tip here- a tarp over the cardboard box you are sleeping in will help you survive most weather except deepest winter and heavy rainstorms. Remember to be putting out at least three applications a week otherwise they will cut you off from that minimal survival funding that you have been paying into for years!

In closing just a few final words — remember you chose to work for the federal government thinking that it would be a cush nirvana amongst the horrors of our modern labor market. But every cloud has a lead lining and this is yours. And take a better look at those weasels you voted to be your bosses. Is part of Making America Great Again taking away your jobs whenever the great MAGA Man so desires? Shows you what he really thinks of the working class, doesn’t it?

The following two tabs change content below.
Roger Freed
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor.