Romney: Too Naïve to Survive Missouri Caucus?

While Gov. Mitt Romney did everything he could to fit in with the locals in the Southern states of Alabama and Mississippi, he still ended up third at the polls behind Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.

They's lots more where these come from, Willard!

Most blame his poor performance in his awkward attempts at speaking redneck. His “Hi y’all” and obviously-faked penchant for cheesy grits and pretty young Southern girls did nothing to persuade those with whom he came in contact that he was even remotely interested in becoming one of them.

Even with having the king of Redneck himself, Jeff Foxworthy, teaching him the proper way to say y’all and ask if anyone else wants that last tater nugget, Romney was clearly looking and sounding like a catfish out of water.

However, being the good-natured fella that he is, Romney appeared on the Fox News Channel Wednesday night and continued to try and sway the southern vote to his side in preparation for the upcoming caucus Saturday in Missouri.

“Y’all ready to watch me open a can o’ whup ass on Santorum and Gingrich this comin’ Saturday?” asked Romney as Megyn Kelly giggled in the background.

“I don’t think language is going to be your biggest worry going into Missouri,” said Kelly, trying to prepare Romney for his upcoming trip that will take him into the deepest recesses of the one of reddest states in the union.

Unfazed, Romney replied, “Seems some folks down there in Missurah want me to go noodlin’ with them,” he said, still practicing his southern accent. “I’m not all that fond of Chinese food, but you know me…when in Rome,” he chuckled.

Kelley smiled nervously while wishing him well on the campaign trail, and then gave the clueless candidate a final word of caution.

“If someone tells you to squeal like a pig, Governor, run like hell.”

P. Beckert