[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Jon Stewart Threatens to Quit Over Olbermann Hiring

NEW YORK — Rumors of Comedy Central hiring progressive news host Keith Olbermann has Jon Stewart threatening to quit and go elsewhere to peddle his unique brand of humor.

Stewart, who shares billing with what he calls “The Best Fu#@ing News Team Ever,” was visibly shaken upon hearing the news first hand from a TMZ reporter after leaving the Sushiden restaurant on Madison Avenue early Sunday afternoon.

jon stewart quits over keith olbermann hiring

“You have got to be fu#@ing kidding me,” said Stewart, while simultaneously telling his wife to get his agent on the phone immediately.

“Wait, hold that. This is an April Fool’s joke, right?” he asked the reporter.

Assured by the reporter that the story came from verified sources, Stewart replied that he wasn’t convinced this wasn’t some kind of hoax played on him by one of his friends.

Stewart said he’d rather work for Fox News than share the same studio space with Olbermann, who he claims is one of the unfunniest guys he’s ever met.

“You want funny? Hire Bill O’Reilly,” Stewart reportedly told TMZ.

P. Beckert