The Earth’s Billionaires Record a Remake of Micheal Jackson’s ‘We Are The World’

A very different version of Micheal Jackson’s ‘We Are The World’ has been produced.

We Are The WorldMark Zuckerberg had a brainstorm one evening. A fervent brainstorm. One so strong that he called all the other top billionaires in the world to let them know about it. At one in the morning. Most of them told him what he could do with himself in an astonishing array of accents and dialects that were quite colorful to boot.

When he came to his senses the next day the inspiration was still strong with him. In fact he felt more inspired than at any time in his life (excepting, of course, when he got the news that he was among the top five richest people in the world — nothing, not even meeting God — would top that.).

It all came from listening to Micheal Jackson. To THAT specific song by the great gloved one.

Micheal had created a phenomena when he assembled some of the greatest musical artists in the world in one recording studio to make the historic song ‘We Are The World’ back in 1985 (at time when Micheal was still black). Zuckerberg had to outdo him.

Calling his chums back in the daytime, Mark succeeded in convincing many of them to join him in his quest.

On a quiet Sunday recently in Menlo Park, California, after a bevy of private jets flew into the local airport, the richest people on earth took their places under specifically arranged microphones to take part in what would become know as ‘We Are The World — the Sequel’ and, on queue, they started in:

There comes a time
when we heed a certain call
and must buy up everything in the world
there are things we don’t have
and places we don’t own
that we want to have under our thumb.

The three wealthiest individuals in the world got the choice spot at the head microphone — Bill Gates, Mark and Jeff Bezos. Gates managed to finagle a spot there as well for his wife, Linda, which Mark wasn’t all that pleased with, but she did balance out the overly male voices nicely. There was some bickering about the status of the positions of the other attendees, but in the end all realized that it was all for a higher cause and went a long with it. Plus, there wasn’t anything that future litigation couldn’t set right.

We can’t go on
letting good deals go on by
we own half the world, we want the other half too
its all a part of re-making the earth our own way
and the truth is, we really deserve it all!

Charles and David Koch provided the bass to round out the bottom of the acoustics, while the Walton clan; Alice, Rob and Jim, sounded out the harmonies.

We own the world
we own your children
we the privileged ones so lets start taking
There’s a choice we’re making
to better our own lives
if no one likes it well that’s just too damn bad!

Micheal Bloomberg, Larry Ellison and Larry Page did their best to carry a tune, but eventually (and mercifully) just sang softly to not embarrass themselves further. Surprisingly Jack Ma of Ali Baba fame lent a lot of support to the melody, probably owing to his stint as an English teacher before becoming the greatest marketeer in the world.

Don’t try to stop us,
You know that we don’t care
We just want everything to be for us
And God can keep out of it
otherwise we’ll buy Him out too!

John and Jacqueline Mars of the candy bar fame added a nice duet sound, unfortunately an octave above what was intended. Sheldon Adelson, Phil Knight and Rupert Murdoch spent most of the session throwing suspicious glances around at the others while croaking out their words.

We own the world
we own your children
we the privileged ones so lets start taking
There’s a choice we’re making
to better our own lives
if no one likes it well that’s just too damn bad!

Elon Musk kept to himself at his own mike stand as he felt out of place being next to ‘old money’ people.

When you’ve got it all, and it seems there can’t be more
And it seems like you never can fall
well, well, well it is time to realize
that the world is not only our oyster
it is our treasure chest that is ours for the snatching!
We own the world
we own your children…

After the session everyone had a momentary feeling of rapture, a fleeting hint of the joy that song can produce. But after a few quick handshakes and brief goodbyes they all boarded their waiting limousines and headed for the airport. The euphoria quickly lifted and they all remembered what they were put on earth to do -MAKE MONEY!!! At all costs! In anyway possible!

Yet some, as their jets lifted into the air and they could see the cool Pacific stretching eternally below them, felt a faint twinge of sadness and a sense of innocence lost, much like what Citizen Kane must have felt as he uttered the immortal word “Rosebud” at the end of his life and let the snow globe with the sled in it slide from his dying hand. But, upon opening their laptops aboard the plane they found the morning had cost them valuable time and they dove back into it. All thoughts of song flitted from their brains and out the exhaust vents of the plane into the thinning air.

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Roger Freed
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor !!!!! Buy 'The Alaska Papers' from lulu.com. Only $10 !!!!! An almost funny publication!