We all need to find time for prayer now. But who to pray to?
We all remember Dorothy Gale from the Wizard of Oz. She’s the one who, after a discussion with Glinda the good witch, clicked her heals and chanted “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.” Well, Dorothy only thought that because she hadn’t been quarantined in her house for a month like we have.
Out of desperation, I tried the Glinda’s advice with a little twist. I clicked my heels and cried out “there’s no place like the corner pub, there’s no place like the corner pub.” It didn’t work. I’m still stuck at home and the pub is still closed.
Due to the pandemic we are all cloistered in our homes with little to do except binge watch Netflix and drink wine. Some people are working from home which means they first turn on their work computer and then watch Netflix and drink wine.
However, there is another thing that we all need to do which is find time for prayer, praying to God to end this pandemic. I started to do this but, with the good Lord getting so many prayers these days, I worried he wouldn’t hear mine. Fortunately I had been an altar boy so I knew a different approach. I could ask one of the Almighty’s patron saints to intercede on my behalf.
Patron saints are chosen to be the special protector or guardian over areas of life such as occupations, illnesses, places or things. They are selected because of an interest, talent or an event in their lives that relates to what they are to oversee from heaven. For instance, Saint Joseph was a carpenter and the step-father of Jesus, so naturally he looks after carpenters and fathers. And Saint Francis of Assisi loved animals, so he became their guardian. Saint Fiacre is the patron saint of sexually transmitted diseases because… well let’s not cast aspersions.
After some research I began to pray to Saint Agrippina to save us from the coronavirus. But my wife pointed out that Agrippina is the patron saint of bacterial diseases and our current pandemic is caused by a virus. So she is of no use in this emergency.
Next I turned to Saint Agricola of Avignon and Saint Adrian of Nicomedia. They share duties as patron saints of plagues. Unfortunately, they are of no use either because plagues are caused by bacteria.
I finally tracked down Saint Roch. He handles both plagues AND epidemics. Hallelujah! He has become the go-to guy for my coronavirus prayers. I expect good results from him.
Sadly, the virus wasn’t the only crisis that impacted me. The other problem was my dwindling supply of toilet paper. At first I wasn’t sure which holy being could alleviate this critical shortage. Due to what appears to be a major oversight by the Catholic Church, there is no saint that handles toilet paper issues. There is no Saint Charmin! I considered praying to Saint Vincent Ferrer, the patron saint of plumbers, but asking him for more toilet paper seemed like a stretch.
Saint Anthony of Padua is often called on by people to assist in finding things. So I sought his guidance in my quest for more Angel Soft. I chanted:
Tony, Tony come around,
I’ve looked all over town
And there’s none to be found.
However, Tony was no help. I think I missed out due to a technicality. Saint Anthony helps people find things that they have lost. I hadn’t lost anything. I just wanted to find more of something.
I considered seeking Saint Hubert’s assistance in hunting down more toilet tissue since he watches over hunters. But I assumed that he would consider me more of a gatherer than a hunter. I decided not to bother him.
I was soon down to my last 50 rolls. The situation was getting desperate, so I reached out to Saint Jude, the patron saint of desperate situations. He was a martyr who was beheaded, so he had some experience with situations almost as dire as mine. Fortunately, my prayers were answered. He came through… with a little help from Costco.
St Roch and Saint Jude have been of great service to me. They can help you too. And in these difficult times there are other holy beings whose guidance you may need. Being trapped in your house all day with your spouse may be a problem (not for me of course as I am married to an angel who may read this article). Your marriage vows mention for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health etc. But it doesn’t say anything about being together 24/7 for months on end. If you are having issues with your partner, you can seek help from Saint Edward the Confessor, the patron saint of difficult marriages. And after you have been sequestered for months with your spouse AND your children it will probably be time to seek counsel from Saint Eugene de Mazenod, who looks after dysfunctional families.
On a serious note, now would be a great time to pray to Saint Camillus de Lellis who protects doctors, nurses and the sick. And a prayer to Holy Mary, the mother of God, who watches over the entire human race wouldn’t hurt.