A Murder of Crows, Etc. - Howard Zaharoff, Humor Times

Animal groups get names like “murder of crows” — what if we did the same for humans?

Animal groups often receive exotic names, such as a pride of lions, a murder of crows, a leap of lizards, and a congregation of alligators. Why can’t we do the same for groupings of humans? Consider the following recommendations:

A pride of politicians
A murder of Edgar finalists
A leap of gymnasts
A gossip of adolescent girls
An acne of adolescent boys
A siren of firefighters
A hover of pilots
An applause of one-armed Zen masters
A kvelling of Jewish grandparents
A kant of philosophers
A hegel of dialectical idealists
A kabob of chefs
A groucho of stand-up comics
A cuspid of dentists
A bicuspid of dental hygienists
A cacophony of musicians
A waiver of doctors
A screeching of lawyers

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Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

Latest posts by Howard Zaharoff (see all)

Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President - July 6, 2021
The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah - March 29, 2021
Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not) - February 6, 2021

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