[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Controversy erupts, open mic comedian gets chilly reception
Comedians are no strangers to controversy these days, especially open mic comedian Bryan Courier, who performs regularly at the Hilljack Hotcakes Coffeehouse every Wednesday in Huntington, WV.
Courier often says inside-jokes in his act that only his fellow open mic comedians understand. He’ll tell a joke onstage, then look quickly to to see if his friends in the audience are nodding and approving. However, that fleeting acknowledgement quickly turned to resentment following an appearance on the “30 Going on 21” podcast.
While riffing with podcaster David Davidson, Courier stated he preferred vanilla ice cream over chocolate ice cream. When Davidson posted the podcast on his “30 Going On 21” blog, the 17 blog commentators were outraged.
“I can’t believe that in the year 2014, we are still having this debate on chocolate versus vanilla ice cream!” One blog commentator posted. “Courier needs to apologize for these comments! As a chocolate ice cream lover, I am outraged!”
“The chocolate ice cream community has taken enough over the years!” Another blog commentator said.
Courier immediately took to the Hilljack Hotcakes Coffeehouse Open Mic Comedians Facebook page and posted an explanation: “I was born a vanilla ice cream lover, it wasn’t a choice,” Courier said in the post. “I have tried chocolate ice cream a few times, and I just couldn’t develop a taste for it, but I don’t hate chocolate ice cream, I just think vanilla ice cream has a better flavor and texture.”
However, chocolate ice cream advocates aren’t buying it and are calling for a boycott of Courier’s open mic performances.
“Mr. Courier needs to learn that there are people out there who will not tolerate his insensitivity to chocolate ice cream!” said Hal Dullerton, leader of the People for Chocolate Ice Cream Acceptance. “We understand that for some vanilla ice cream lovers that chocolate ice cream can be a lot to take in at first, but you eventually get used to it. Mr Courier needs to expand his taste buds!” Dullerton stated.
Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has come to the defense of Bryan Courier saying, “My family fully supports Mr. Courier’s right to like whatever ice cream he chooses. This is a free country and if he prefers vanilla over chocolate, then that’s his God-given right!”
The Humor Times attempted to reach Bryan Courier for additional comments. However, his mother told us that he was busy in her basement, working hard on his comedy act.
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