[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Bionic Ginni Thomas Brings Justice to America

A bionic Ginni Thomas bot is dominating internet traffic since she became Chief Justice of “The Supremes” this week.

A bionic Ginni Thomas bot is dominating internet traffic since she became Chief Justice of “The Supremes” this week. Court observers note the timing is important. They point out that the real Supreme Court is preparing to announce decisions on abortion rights and gun-safety measures.

bionic Ginni ThomasThomas, a conservative activist, is also the wife of hard-right Justice Clarence Thomas. Ironically, her bot puts her at odds with her husband and the dominant conservative faction on the Court. The bot version of Ginni Thomas is a progressive who was appointed to lead The Supremes. What’s more, a bot Democratic president put her there. As a bot, she presides over a court with six Democratic appointments. The remaining three seats are occupied by GOP nominees. This is the exact opposite composition of the real Supreme Court.

Progressives Play the Supremes Online

Surfers learned about her version of justice in America by following the hashtag Progressives Play The Supremes.

However, even as millions of people enjoy viewing The Supremes, political reaction was fierce and swift.

A spokesman for the Democratic National Committee claimed responsibility for the popular bot, which some people call a bionic person. “We are using contemporary culture to communicate with our fellow Americans,” said spokesman Tucker Carl Sanderson. “We value democracy, freedom, and public safety.  The real Supreme Court is destroying all of these sacred values.”

Federalist Society Radicals Partying

He continued,” Bionic person Ginni lets people know about the dangerous and destructive actions of radical Republicans.  Bot Ginni makes it clear that the Federalist Society is partying now.  They are partying because they got Republicans to put a majority of their radical justices on the Supreme Court. Their justices are taking away our rights and freedom. They are putting our safety at risk.”

Wasting no time, the GOP fired back. Ronna Romney McDaniel, the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee, denounced  the popular YouTube site. According to Romney McDaniel, “Evidence shows a Russian bot farm in St. Petersburg created the Ginni Thomas bot.  We also believe the Democratic party paid the Russian bot farm to engineer the smear on Ginni Thomas and the mainstream Republican party.”

Robert Mueller to the Rescue?

A powerful Republican force in the Senate also joined the debate. Addison Mitchell McConnell III, the Senate minority leader, pulled no punches. He said, “Once we take over the Senate, we will bring Robert Mueller out of retirement. He will investigate the purported Russian collusion with the Democratic party.”

But a source in McConnell’s office gave the Associated Press key background material. Mueller will serve as a figurehead, the wire service reported. “We have our knives out,” the source said. “Mueller will just pass along anything we feed him.”

And political commentators added their take, with apparent amusement. Said one wag, “Think about it. The real Ginni Thomas reportedly sent emails to Republican legislators in Arizona. She wanted them to steal the Arizona victory from Democrat Joe Biden.”

Alternate Arizona Electors vs. an Alternative Supreme Court

“That’s right,” said a second commentator. “Text messages from Thomas apparently show her demanding that Arizona Republicans create an alternative slate of electors. Now Democrats admit to creating an alternate Supreme Court. Republicans scream corruption. Democrats call it justice.”

Without a hint of irony, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas spoke up. He warned the “fake Supreme Court will undermine confidence in our institutions.”

“Really?,” retorted Democratic spokesman Tucker Carl Sanderson. “McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat from then-president Barack Obama. So, Thomas needs to look at his own party.” The spokesman added, “Why? Because Democrats are using Free Speech to reach the public. On the other hand, Republicans steal justices and try to steal elections.”

Steve Schneider