DeSantis Scores ‘Love Letter’ from Putin

Russian-born citizen reveals “love letter” from Vladimir Putin to Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

A Russian national shared the following letter with Humor Times, “my favorite American news source.”  Requesting anonymity, the source got the “love letter” from “my South Florida beachfront condo landlord, Vladimir Putin.”

love letter from President Vladimir Putin. Image by DonkeyHotey
Russian President Vladimir Putin, Caricature by DonkeyHotey,

Dear Comrade DeSantis,

I’m busy fighting a war for justice in Ukraine.  But I need to take time out from my military planning to send you a love letter.

However, please don’t get me wrong, Dear Comrade DeSantis.  I’m sending you a love letter in the vein of the love letters the Dear Leader of North Korea exchanged with Donald Trump.  You know Comrade Trump, the former president who calls your Sunshine State home now.  He also has love in his heart.

I know this because I’ve been holding “secret” Zoom meetings with The Donald and you.  Ooops, as Rick Perry might say.  I just gave away the show.

But who cares?  So many Americans are just so pissed at the way your country is run.  All the lies, corruption and favoritism has inflamed them.  The needless wars.  The wasteful spending.  The feeling that government cares about everyone but us.

Fortunately, though, Comrade Trump and you are wise leaders.  Both of you seize the day.  How so? you may ask.  Well, both of you know how to give aggrieved people what they need emotionally.  So, what if you don’t deliver substance.  Politics is about emotion as much as policy.

That’s why I admire your latest chess move.  It was brilliant.  You won a “jackpot” by flying 50 Spanish-speaking migrants from Texas to wealthy, liberal Martha’s Vineyard.  And you pulled off the stunt masterfully.  You gave a Florida-based company more than $600,000 to do your dirty work.  If a liberal governor had done that, you’d be on his case for wasting taxpayer money.  Even with inflation raging, $600,000 buys a lot of Russian vodka, Comrade DeSantis.

Of course, liberals, Democrats and their mainstream media toadies jumped on you for this perfectly timed “Pearl Harbor” attack.  But I see things differently.

Yes, our two great nations are separated by an ocean and American propaganda.  But you know what I see?  I see all the love in your heart.

And you express that love by giving some Americans tough love.  You keep dishing out tough love to those evil liberals who are destroying your great country.

Keep up the great work, future President DeSantis.  And remember, you win when you divide.

Yours in Solidarity,

Vladimir Putin

P.S. Can you help me get some wealthy Russian kids into Yale University and Harvard Law School?  We need to train the next generation of liberators.

P.P.S. Thank you for rejecting liberal calls to divest from Russia.

Steve Schneider