[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

NRA Pushes for Individual Right to Possess Atom Bombs

Explosive new debate steals thunder from anti-NRA gun control activists

The National Rifle Association (NRA) unleashed a new campaign to allow all American citizens their “God-given right to own an atom bomb.”

NRA atom bomb gun
Artist’s rendition of a new “atom bomb gun” even a girl can wield.

The public is being bombarded with television, newspaper, movie and billboard ads, as the NRA works hard to get the new law passed through Congress. Already, the Fox News channel has picked up the baton, and is aggressively pushing for legalization of individual possession.

Anyone challenging the new mandate is being ruthlessly booed down and hunted by NRA activists. Legislators opposing the bill in Congress have been subjected to jeering and intimidation from pro-bomb pundits. People protesting the idea of individual ownership of bombs have received angry letters and death threats from anonymous sources.

New slogans have already surfaced, such as: “When atom bombs are outlawed only outlaws will have atom bombs,” “Having an atom bomb in your home is a great deterrent to crime,” “An atom bomb a day keeps the terrorists away,” and more.

Popular slogans at counter protest rallies include: “Don’t make me Hiroshima on your ass!” and “I love the smell of radiation in the morning!”

People complaining about the potential for accidents and abuse by the new atom bomb owners have been routinely intimidated. Many have been subjected to taunts of “Why do you hate America? Do you want only the terrorists to have atom bombs?” and of course, the new instant classic, “You can have my nuclear bombs when your pry them from my cold dead fingers!”

Interestingly enough, the NRA appears to have bought the the majority share of stocks in the first company to mass produce atom bombs for the general consumer. Side businesses in making atom bomb accessories have blossomed, including such things as atom bomb decals, atom bomb silencers, atom bomb display racks and atom bomb shoulder holsters.

Once the personal-possession atom bomb law gets through a compliant Congress, the NRA plans on pushing for the legal right to carrying concealed atom bombs on the street.

More on these developments as they occur.

Roger Freed