My Conundrum: A New Job or a Trip to Australia?


Typos or Koala Bears in Australia – what would you do?

In 1983 while living in Hawaii on my husband’s 3 year tour, I finally got a part-time job as a proofreader for a magazine called “Hawaii Fishing News”! I worked there for just a month & then found out my husband’s upcoming business trip was to be Australia & New Zealand & he asked me to go.

I wasn’t 1st Choice – but it was a nice thing to do!  haha

Sounds like a no-brainer but I was torn & not a quitter & after a bunch of false starts & freaky Island interviews, I didn’t want to fish & cut bait!

I’m sorry!

On the other hand, I wasn’t a happy flyer & since it was our last year in Paradise, the odds of me wanting to ever venture to Australia from the Far East – that’s Baltimore – would be slim to none!

It wasn’t like this proofreading gig was the job of my dreams – under my belt the past 2 years I had written an Original TV Sit-Com with a Hawaiian theme, a Humorous Line Drawing Book & got an Agent!

And, that isn’t easy on the Islands – their offices are on a blanket in Waikiki – somewhere between Sand & More Sand!

I know, I know – some of you forgot what it was like before cell phones & laptops!

This Proofreading position should’ve been video taped – I was such a fish out of water!

Are they kidding me – at home my Goldfish committed suicide! 

They took a look at me & thought – ‘In 2 days it would be over anyhow!  haha

Yes, ‘they’ – there was more than one!


To pick me – this Editor must’ve been hard up.  I knew nothing about fishing – I was just there for the chum!

Again, I’m sorry!

I like it on a plate with lemon – not on a hook giving me stink-eye!

And like I’m an authority on the spelling of Hawaiian words…Kamehameha, Kapiolani, Pupus!

It’s not a language – it’s like Alphabet Soup for Dyslexics!

Can I have a consonant, Vanna?

And, the names of fish were different than the Mainland.  Mahi-mahi, Opakapaka, Poke!

For comfort, I had to go to McDonald’s to get a Filet O’Fish & a Binky!

But, I found out one thing.  Fisherman really believe that size matters!

And, fisherman’s wives have to have a good sense of humor & a Lover on the side!

Preferably one who likes sex in the morning & reads books with you by the fire – not to the Garage untangling fishing wire!

As it turns out, I was pretty good at Proofreading – after a while, it’s a lot like Pigs looking for Truffles!

Never a dull magazine issue – Fishing Tournaments, Hukilaus, Moby’s Dick Sightings!

I came home every night seasick from all the Boat Tales & once was so loopy, I jumped in a Hot Tub & boiled some Shrimp at the same time!

Well, I did go to Australia & New Zealand & brought back a Boomerang – I had to! 

It reminded me of the job I left behind – you know, ‘Catch & Release’!

Don’t laugh, if I didn’t go – I wouldn’t have brought back a case of ‘Scrotum Pouches’!

They say the Kangaroo Scrotums are ‘Unusual Sentimental Romantic Little Gifts’.


Yeah, to Male Kangaroos!


You can also read this article & so much more in my Memoir: “Owning the Stage, Renting the Balls: My Life as a Funny Girl!

Marilyn Sands