Rare Quotes Found Prove They Can Make You Laugh in Any Century

rare quotes

Skewed Rare Quotes from Historical Figures reveal ‘Back to the Future’ Moments!

Part 1: Rare Quotes

ABE LINCOLN: ‘I said 4 Stores & 7 frigin’ blocks from here didn’t have it – so try COSTCO’!  ‘What are you – hard of hearing’?

ALBERT EINSTEIN: ‘1/2 Dozen Eggs, a Quart of Milk, a Pound of Butter?  WHOA – write it down, Sweetpea’!

AUGUSTUS: ‘I predict it will still be hot in September’!

rare quotes

EVE TO ADAM 1ST DAY: ‘You can’t touch this’! 

‘Okay, this but not that’! 

 ‘Oh, what the hell’!

And the rest is history!  haha

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS: ‘Is it 2 Rights & a Left & then a UIEE at McDonald’s’?

CONFUCIUS: ‘The Fortune Cookie‘ idea came when I passed a note to my Number 1 Concubine while Number 1 Wife count peas in flied rice’!

fortune cookies

ISAAC NEWTON: ‘Is it a Cookie, a Stool Softener or a Figment of your Imagination’?

You’ll get some of these on the way home!  haha

LEONARDO Da VINCI:  ‘Mona Lisa had a dental appointment right after, okay!  How many friggin’ times do I have to answer that’?

rare quotes, Mona Lisa

WALT DISNEY: ‘Okay, ‘SEXY’ was fired the 1st day!  Snow White picked the wrong one to give a friendly welcoming massage!

It’s all in the affidavit!


LADY GODIVA:  ‘Ran out of Quarters again!  Damn Machines!  What’ya all looking at – never happen to you’?

Scroll down now.

NAPOLEON: ‘I was just reaching for my Cell Phone, Officer’!

rare quotes

SIGMUND FREUD: ‘I predict someday a ‘Cognitive Test Savant’ will not get Mental Help – but run for President 3 Times & Win Twice’!  ‘Thank G-d I’m dead’!

NOSTRADAMUS: ‘My Umbrella Sales have gone thru the roof due to my last Prediction…A MAJOR WORLD EVENT or RAIN ON WEDNESDAY’!

MRS. NOSTRADAMUS: ‘I predict in July 2023, floozy Marilyn Sands will get laughs for Indecent Wordplay and/or wearing her Bra on the outside’!

Sorry, no pic available!

Marilyn Sands