Don & Vlad Ketchup @ Hamburg’s Rare & Juicy Meat-Up!

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin at the G20

Trump and Putin

First — sorry for the Title…

There’s been much speculation on where & when Donald Trump & Vladimir Putin will exchange glances at the G20 for the first time — I say, it’s already been scripted:

Tinkling piano bar in their hotel play “At Last” as Trump saunters over to Putin sitting pensively waiting for his hook up.

TRUMP

Are you KGBhavabigone?

PUTIN

On-line dating is so awkward, isn’t it?

TRUMP

What can I say — we were a 100% match.

PUTIN

You have nice eyes.

TRUMP

Thanks — but don’t let these small hands fool you.

PUTIN

No, I can see you’re happy to see me.

TRUMP

That’s exactly why I wore a shorter tie for you!  About that Dossier…

PUTIN

BTW — Olga & Uma have been asking for you.

TRUMP

I don’t know any Olga & Uma.

PUTIN

Oh, yes you do — they never forget ‘Get off my Hair’!

TRUMP

I’m already campaigning for 2020 — what more do you want?

PUTIN

Can you get Pence on board?

TRUMP

He knows nothing & his comments prove it!

PUTIN

You mean he’s not interested in a little Russian Blini-Blini under the sheets like you do?

TRUMP

No, his wife runs a tight ship — right now, he’s looking for loop holes!

PUTIN

C’mon, let’s slip outwho could be watching us?  My room is #333 & it’s not bugged — I promise you.

TRUMP

You know, I didn’t come with protec…I mean an agenda.

PUTIN

Good, that’s the way I like it!

TRUMP

Afterwards, I’ll be off the hook & we’ve settled the score?

PUTIN

No — in my country, we never settle score!

TRUMP

Well then — our play date is off!  Where’s that old German broad — she couldn’t keep her hands off me in Italy!

PUTIN

I don’t think so.  I listen-in to her country — she thinks you’re a rude boor!

TRUMP

Didn’t she ‘have work’?

PUTIN

I don’t know — but she did say Eva Brawn complained about the same thing, slapped his hand & only pretended to take that ‘goodbye’ pill!

TRUMP

Friends of Olga & Uma?

PUTIN

You & your History!  I’m not touching that – I want you to get the last laugh!

PUTIN

Let’s go, boy!

The following two tabs change content below.
Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Humor Times: 'World's Funniest News Source'