My new board game has everything!
My new board game has everything — Indian malfeasance, mishandling of orbs, sexual fetishes, knives in Babkas — late library books!
Only kidding about the books — but money definitely gets a final rinse!
Money is a mix of Russian Rubles & American hundred dollar bills & they’ve been laundered & folded. Oh, there’s 1 sock that plays a big part in the game.
I wanted to think-up a game where if you became bankrupt, committed sexual assault or lied more than Satan — you get to keep on playing & run for President!
It’s a lot like Monopoly, but reminds me of ‘3 Card Monte’ — The King is never where you think he will be…
He’s usually at Mar-a-Lago, his Hall of Mirrors or hiding in the closet hoovering-up beautiful Chocolate Cake!
The Object: Collude with Foreign Enemies for financial gain while underlings get thrown to the lions & you come out *smellin’ like a rose.
*No guarantee — it’s a new game & I’m still workin’ the kinks out.
Playing Time: 24/7 — Don’t worry, Wolf Blitzer gives you a Wake-Up Call.
Players: Avarice-minded Businessmen & misguided Generals turned Political Animals of all stripes & spots.
Skills Required: Negotiating, Strategy & Arthritis-free to sign copious, yet faux Executive Orders.
Instead of picking a card from CHANCE or COMMUNITY CHEST — you can stop the play & deflect with a TWEET or a SPIN card on the White House lawn with a quick brag or a little gaslighting!
And, instead of the usual Miniature Tokens of the Boot, the Thimble, the Iron & the Top Hat — there’s a KFC Drumstick, a Golf Tee, a Russian Bear & a photo of all 3 Trump wives on a $1 Chip from the Taj!
The End Game: There’s only 2 outcomes — you can land on “GO TO JAIL” or “Just Visiting Jail”.
With the first — Bob Mueller backs up the Paddy Wagon right up to the White House gate & you wave goodbye… until it’s your turn in the barrel.
But, forget about landing on “Just Visiting Jail” — it’s a trick & never works… those women in Trump’s past whose cats were petted — turned out to have 9 Lives & longgggg memories!