[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Evangelical Christians Urged to Support Trump Against Stormy Daniels

Jeffress cites parallels in the Bible, calls on evangelical Christians to ‘do their duty.’

Hot off the press, here is the transcript of this reporter’s exclusive interview with Robert Jeffress questioning his and other evangelical Christians’ support of President Trump given all the Stormy Daniels allegations.

robert jeffress, evangelical christians, support trumpReporter: “It has been reported that you came out in strong support of President Trump when the Stormy Daniels story broke. Is that true?”

Jeffress: “Absolutely. And I urge all Christian Evangelicals to come forward and do the same.”

Reporter: “But you preach about moral behavior based upon the 10 Commandments. I thought one of the ten applied here, you know kind of frowning on adultery and all that sinful stuff.”

Jeffress: “I am well aware of that.”

Reporter: “Well then. Isn’t it pretty hypocritical of you to preach against it for everyone else, but to give Trump a pass?”

Jeffress: “Not at all. I’m just following in Jesus’ footsteps.”

Reporter: (looking bewildered) “Excuse me, but I don’t understand how that could be.”

Jeffress: “It’s simple. Just read your bible. Jesus loved prostitutes and adulterers. Look, he palled around with Mary Magdalen.”

Reporter: “So, what are you trying to say?”

Jeffress: “Isn’t it obvious? Supporting Trump is just being Christ-like. I’m like Jesus, standing against the liberal press like He did, against those who were going to stone the adulteress to death. And, I think its the duty of all evangelicals to be true Christians and do the same.”

Reporter: “But you preach hell and damnation for everyone else who transgresses. Don’t you see the conflict?”

Jeffress: “Not at all. Hell and damnation apply to a totally different world. Look, if Jesus had been a little more practical about this world and not pissed off the Roman government, he might not have ended up on the cross.”

Reporter: “So how do you justify all of this to all your evangelical followers?”

Jeffress: “Easily. I remind them that Jesus said ‘Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s.’ We just need to think of President Trump as our Caesar.”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
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