Huckabee Kids Wear Wire at Breakfast

…Sarah Serves Up Phooey

6 AM on the Kitchen Front… Suburban Virginia

“Mommy, that’s not fair”!

SARAH

Jimmy, don’t be a sore loser.  Tommy got the last piece of Bacon – try again in 7 years!

“What’s in this Oatmeal”?

SARAH

Candy.

“Are you Gaslighting me”?

SARAH

Pfft, we have Electric!

“Is Daddy our real Daddy”?

SARAH

I can’t comment on specifics!

“Why not”?

SARAH

I hardly slept with him – he’s a Volunteer!

“You’re never home, Mommy”.

SARAH

I’m helping America.

“You are?  My teacher says you’re an S.O…”

SARAH

…that’s why her ‘Apple’ numbers are in the tank!

“Something’s wrong with this Toast”!

SARAH

That bread was purchased before the expiration date or during Obama Years.

“Which is it”?

SARAH

Who cares – get off the table or Nancy Pelosi will babysit you again!

“Can I please, can I plea…ssse”?

SARAH

The Clearances?  The White House Personnel Security Office is filled with Career Officials & they haven’t gotten back to us ye…

“All I wanted was a Pop Tart”!

“I can’t eat that  – they’re gooey & there’s a shell in them”!

SARAH

The suggestion of that is absurd!  Next complaint.

“Little Angie kissed me & then wiped it off”.

SARAH

That’s beyond my scope.

“Are your Pearls real”?

SARAH

As real as Melania’s Ti…Time for school kids – I’ll take one last question.

“What’s a Playboy Playmate”?

SARAH

$150,000 down the Crapper!

SARAH

See you at Bedtime kids – bring your favorite books & please, no more Pinocchio!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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