‘Waiting for Mueller’… a Tragicomedy

A tragicomedy — with apologies to playwright Samuel Beckett.

Tragicomedy

Tragicomedy

The story in which 2 characters, Vladimir & Donald, wait for the arrival of someone named Mueller who never arrives… or it just seems that way.

Two lost souls; one suicidal by Coke, the other likes Wodka!

A country road at evening near a tree with no leaves.

Tragicomedy

VLAD

Why are you wandering?

DONALD

Nookie.  You?

VLAD

Nerve Gas.

DONALD

Keep walking!

Along their journey they cross paths with the Donkey & Elephant.

DONALD

Pretend you don’t see them.

VLAD

Ha – piece a Babka.

DONALD

Same here — ‘President of Donald’… I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue & shoot som…

VLAD

I know, I know — but I did!

Weary, they stop to sit on a tree stump.

VLAD

Describe this Mueller fellow we’re looking for.

DONALD

Well, he has hair, damn it & he’s a Third.

VLAD

A third of what?

DONALD

His father & grandfather have the same name… how boring.

VLAD

Your son…

DONALD

Oh, Mr. DirtonHillaryIloveit son?

VLAD

Ha ha.  Ah, children — we have Siberia for that!

DONALD

Hey — you were supposed to make Hillary win… I just wanted the publicity.

VLAD

Who cares!

DONALD

I care — Melania sewed my fly shut; all my pants!

VLAD

Your Family Jewels are safe with me.

DONALD

And my Rubles?

VLAD

Yes & the Pee Pee Tape.

DONALD

I knew you’d be someone I could trust — do I have great instincts or what!

Tragicomedy

Vlad pulls out a flask & offers Donald a swig.

DONALD

Well, I don’t usually…

VLAD

You wanna be a Dick or a Dictator?  To Life… Terms!

DONALD

Yes, to Life Terms or The Wall… whichever comes first!

As nightfall descends on these two downtrodden ultra-rich men; there’s one thing that persists…

no sign of Godot or Mueller!

Tragicomedy

***

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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