A Three Way with President Trump? No Thanks!

Roz Warren, A Three Way with President Trump? No Thanks!

Three way with Trump is porn star fan’s worst nightmare

My pal Dave has a big problem with Stormy Daniels.

Not because he’s a fan of Donald Trump.

Just the opposite.

Dave used to have a very special relationship with Stormy. He was a single guy and she was his favorite porn star. He had all of Stormy’s DVDs and an extensive collection of magazines she’s been featured in.

“She’s the ideal woman,” he’d enthuse. “Smart. Sexy, Gorgeous. Plus, she’s got fantastic bazoomas.”

After his divorce, Dave put his profile up on Match.com and while he’s gone out with some great women, nothing ever quite clicked. But he always had Stormy to come home to.

Then “Stormygate” broke. America learned that Stormy had had sex with Donald Trump and was paid to keep quiet about it. But she’s talking anyway. And she can describe The Presidential Junk in detail!

The news was devastating for the country, but even more devastating for Dave’s sex life.

Now whenever Dave fires up his erotic imagination and starts fantasizing about Stormy — President Trump enters the picture.

“Stormy and I are getting it on and everything is going great,” Dave tells me. “Then I hear the opening bars of Hail to the Chief… and in strides the Donald, ready to make Presidential Whoopee.”

Needless to say, a three way with President Trump is Dave’s worst nightmare.

“He turns up every time,” Davie laments. “I just can’t keep him out of my mind. The constant news stories don’t help.” He sighed. “There really ought to be a support group for people like me.”

Stormy may have lost Dave as a fan. But she’s got a new one.

Me.

Now Stormy Daniels is my favorite porn star. I don’t watch her DVDs and I don’t have any of her magazines but I love her interviews, follow her progress in the news and subscribe to her Twitter feed. (@StormyDaniels)

I love this woman! She’s smart and empowered and unapologetic. And she has a great sense of humor. Instead of being intimidated by Twitter trolls, Daniels merely retweets them, adding a caustic comment.

As another of Stormy’s many female Twitter fans put it, “She’s funny, shrewd and far more articulate than Trump.”

And she refuses to be slut-shamed. When one critic addressed her on Twitter as “@StormyDaniels Slut,” Daniels didn’t flip out. She just responded with a happy “Yes.”

Unlike Dave, I don’t care about the size of Stormy’s breasts. I care about the size of her resolve. I’m hoping Stormy can do what all the dithering dudes in Congress have failed to do — bring down Trump’s corrupt regime.

I look forward to Stormy going from harmlessly spanking Trump’s tushie with a magazine to kicking his corrupt keister out of office.

As for Dave? There’s always Alana Evans.

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Roz Warren
Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.
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