Jeb Bush Lying in Wait Like a Florida Panther

He’s ready to pounce upon the GOP scene

Jeb Bush lying in wait like a panther.
See Jeb? See Jeb Run? Run, Jeb, Run.

Rumors are still swirling that Jeb Bush is considering putting his name in the hat for the GOP nomination. But, if there is one thing you should know about the Bush family, it is this: They don’t do anything without putting a whole lot of thought into it.

The main thought being, “Will it make us rich?”

It is for this reason that Jeb hasn’t just rushed right onto the political scene to announce his presidential bid.

“For one thing,” said daddy Bush, “the job only pays $400 grand a year, so while George Jr. was happy to have a little pocket change without having to work too hard for it, my son Jeb needs quite a bit more than that to fund all his half-assed business schemes.”

Friends close to Jeb in Florida, though, say he is just about ready to pounce, if he can get a few of his rich friends to promise him more than a salary once the title “President” attaches to his resume. Lobbyists claim that as of now, Jeb’s pretty worthless to them, but put him in the White House, wind him up and give him his marching orders, and buddy, the sky’s the limit.

Jeb claims the main reason he’s been overly coy about the whole matter is that he’s watched how Sarah Palin and Donald Trump have just thrown themselves out there on the political scene, toying with the affections of the Conservative party.  Bush honestly believes that may be a major factor in the schizophrenic-like way many of their constituents are acting.

“Dangling a carrot and then snatching it back and eating it yourself just creates unnecessary stress on a group of people who are already just hanging by a thread,” said Bush.

“Look, I’m gonna run, or shall I say, I’m thinking about running. But if I don’t, it just means I made up my mind not to run. But you can probably count me in at the last minute if I decide to run,” and with that he settled back in his camo-design hammock behind a large palmetto tree.

P. Beckert