Mrs. Mueller’s Wonkish Bedroom Tapes – Unredacted!

Bedroom Tapes

Special Counsel Mueller proves he has a way with words in the bedroom: We have an exclusive on the Unredacted Bedroom Tapes!…

Even in the heat of passion — Ann Mueller did her civic duty & taped her husband Bob for clues to his baffling syntactic Report, in the now-infamous Bedroom Tapes…

BOB

If your Beef Stew was not up to par — I would have told you so.

ANN

Barr. Barr. Barr!  I feel like there’s 3 of us in this marriage!

BOB

Well, you’ve got to admit your signature dish used to have a little somethin’ somethin’.

ANN

Cumin?

BOB

Not yet.

ANN

Well, something’s going on; I’m jealous — Barr said he had your Baby!

BOB

No, he said, “It’s my Baby.”  You know how bosses are — they try to take your work & tweak it.

ANN

He did more than tweak — he spun, Hon!

BOB

Don’t worry — I told Barr there’s confusion now about critical aspects of the results of the investigation.

ANN

And, what did he say?

BOB

“Have you ever had Trump’s Chocolate Cake”?

Bedroom Tapes

ANN

And, did you ask him if he washed it down with Kool-Aid?

BOB

That’s a question I’ll answer with the subpoena.

ANN

So, you’re going?

BOB

Of course I’m going — this is just called ‘Governmental Foreplay’!

ANN

I wouldn’t know.  BTW — if you’re such a straight shooter — last night, you missed my Yoohoo by a mile!

BOB

Oh yeah?  Then I hereby… farm it out!

ANN

You mean subletting?  You can’t just do that!

BOB

Yes, I can… it’s called ‘delegating’!  Let’s face it — your offering tonight did not fully capture the context, nature & substance of a meal.

ANN

Speak English, Bob!

BOB

I don’t like mushrooms, Ann!

BOB

While this dinner does not conclude that you committed a crime, it also does not exonerate you!

ANN

Then you’ll Pardon me?

BOB

Well, let’s see how the Brisket goes!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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