Mitt Romney Claims Elephants Definitely Not Disappearing

Now that Mitt Romney has a commanding lead in the GOP primaries, reporters are beginning to ask him more difficult questions in order to determine just how ready he is to be America’s next President.

One of Romney's Many Elephants
One of Romney's many elephants.

Today, after Romney was declared the winner in all three primary elections, one reporter decided to test the candidate on current events.

“Mr. Romney, it has recently been reported that elephants are quickly disappearing and there may come a day soon when the elephant no longer exists. Can you tell us where you stand on that?”

Romney, ever one to give totally off-the-cuff replies, didn’t skip a beat.

“Well, as you know, I am a Republican and so is my wife, Ann,” said Romney. “And, for as long as I can remember, the elephant has always been the symbol of the GOP. So, over the years, my wife and I have collected elephants. We’ve bought some ourselves and have also gotten elephants in every shape and form from family and friends. You know how it is when someone finds out you are a collector,” he said. “It makes gift giving that much easier.”

Romney then began to tick off just how many elephants he has.

“We’ve got about 2 or 3 elephant tea pots, several large elephant statues in our garden, a couple of ceramic elephants on our mantle at home, and so many other elephant-shaped bric-a-brac that I just can’t count them all,” he said.

“So, in answer to your question, I hardly believe there will ever come a day when the elephant doesn’t exist,” said Romney.

“Of course, it would be nice to get rid of a few of them because Ann says it’s hell on the maids having to keep them all dusted.”

P. Beckert