Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host celebrates the show’s 100th episode, with several of Jerry’s favorite guests stopping by.
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today is the 100th episode of our show and several guests are stopping by. I’ll make sure that I hurl enough insults to last them a lifetime.
Jeez. I think you cracked my ribs.
I hope so. You creep.
Haven’t seen you in awhile.
I’ve been hidin from the press. Sellin nuts in Hawaii.
Are nuts attracted to you?
Yeah. I grow them macadamias on my farm. My slogan is “I must be part squirrel. I attract all the nuts.”
Sarah Palin joins the conversation.
Wow. Speaking of nuts.
You know I’m divorced.
I’m not surprised. Your family is a sitcom.
Think about it. I’m the only smart person in the clan.
Rudy Giuliani breaks up the conversation.
Hey, Sarah. I’ll give you a call. I’m available.
Not for long, Rudster. You’re going to prison.
Wait for me Sarah. I love you!
I’ll wait, Rudy. Remember not to skinny dip with snappin turtles.
Mike Pence greets Jerry.
VICE PRESIDENT PENCE
I’m here to save you from sin. “A bastard shall not enter into the congregation.” Book of Deuteronomy 23:2.
You’re the expert on bastards. You work for one in the White House. Bye bye, Penster.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez confronts Pence.
Tue res raro. You are a freak!
Get away, Devil Woman. I can’t be near you. Satan will find me.
I joined a satanic cult the other day just for the hell of it. And here’s a secret, Veep. Stormy Daniels has raging hormones and likes men with beady eyes.
Don’t tell my wife.
Maxine Waters surprises Jerry.
I’m gonna whoop your butt if you make fun of me again. I haven’t forgotten the last interview.
C’mon. Don’t you have a sense of humor?
Sure do. I’m impeaching Trump. Ba ha ha ha.
Duncan. Chuck Schumer wants to say something. But first I have a question. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog Rex that he’s adopted?
Don’t hurt the little fellas feelings. He may jump the fence and search for his biological parents.
SENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER
Hi Duncan. I’m here to announce that I’m running for president.
I am. But seriously, you need to walk in the other guy’s moccasins. You have to think what they think. Do you know who said that?
I did. That’s how smart I am. Got a perfect score on my SAT.
So what? I read every Mad magazine from cover to cover.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose, Chuckles. See you tomorrow everyone.