The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Jerry’s Best Friends, Buddy and Gordon

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews his best friends, Gordon Rube and Buddy Light.

Ed. Note:  Announcing an all new The Jerry Duncan Show series on You Tube! The first four episodes will air in late October and feature Broadway and TV stars in the cast. Spread the word on your social media and link to The Jerry Duncan Show page.

best friends from Alaska
Jerry interviews his best friends as they call in from Fairbanks International Airport.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are my two best friends from Alaska, Gordon Rube and Buddy Light.

GORDON RUBE

Hi Jerry.

BUDDY LIGHT

Hey, Dunkin Donuts.

JERRY

It’s noisy. Where are you guys?

BUDDY

At Fairbanks International Airport.

GORDON

We’re on our way to New York City. Checkin out the babes at the beaches along the shore.

BUDDY

Call me Uber, cuz I’m there to pick them up.

GORDON

The TSA official gave me a hard time, Jerry. She told me that she needed to do a cavity search. I refused.

JERRY

What’s wrong with that?

GORDON

I was just at the dentist. No cavities.

BUDDY

I told the lady that Gordon has a learning disability. She said he only qualifies if his IQ is below 70. Thank the Lord he asked the right question.

GORDON

I said, “Is that Celsius or Fahrenheit?”

BUDDY

TSA passed us through. No problemo.

BUDDY

Jerry. I’m madly in love with the Statue of Liberty. The lady has been single too long.

JERRY

Do you know why the Statue of Liberty stands in New York harbor?

BUDDY

No.

JERRY

Because she can’t sit down.

GORDON

Hemorrhoids. Right? We learned that in grade school.

JERRY

What do you guys think of the presidential debates?

BUDDY

Kanye’s gonna lose.

JERRY

Budster. Kanye doesn’t qualify. It’s Trump and Biden.

GORDON

Really? Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Donald Trump ever learned.

JERRY

I’m going with Joe Biden. At least he sleeps with a professor, not a mail order bride.

BUDDY

I’m embarrassed to tell you guys. When I was a college freshman, my English professor accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

GORDON

Is that why you were expelled?

BUDDY

Nah. I was expelled for smoking weed in class. It sucked. All I wanted was a higher education.

GORDON

Jerry. Do you remember when I was stoned and drove my car across your old man’s lawn? Your mom was so angry she grabbed a rifle and shot out my back tires.

JERRY

Yeah. My parents thought you were a moron.

BUDDY

And he proved it.

GORDON

Those were fun times.

JERRY

Not really. My mom was always yelling at me. She broke the sound barrier. Glaciers cracked. Polar bears fled south. All because we did dumb things.

BUDDY

I hate to break it up, but we board in 15 minutes. How bout a Little Johnny joke?

JERRY

Okay.

JERRY

Little Johnny’s preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class, “Does anyone know what this is?”  Little Johnny’s hand  shot up and the firefighter called on him. Little Johnny replied, “That’s how mommy knows supper is ready.”

GORDON AND BUDDY

Hee hee hee. Funny, Jerry.

BUDDY

Gordon. What’s simultaneously up and down?

GORDON

Dunno.

BUDDY

A retard like you Gordon on a plane.

JERRY

Sign off for me, fellas.

GORDON AND BUDDY

See you tomorrow.

 

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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