[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

White House Doctors Distraught Over Flurry of Coherent Tweets

A series of coherent tweets from the president raises alarms.

Dr. Sean Conley and his staff at Walter Reed Medical Center expressed deep concern today that the coronavirus had affected the president’s neurological functions. This after he posted a series of coherent tweets and exhibited other oddly sane behaviors.

coherent tweets
Dr. Sean Conley worried about “coherent tweets.”

“When we see someone who is normally disoriented and aggressive suddenly making sense, well, that’s a red flag,” Dr. Conley stated. He continued, “Now that President Trump’s respiratory issues have improved, we can begin to assess the virus’ long lasting effects.”

The first lady confirmed Dr. Conley’s suspicions by describing some of her husband’s more recent behavior, like ordering a salad, exhibiting a sense of humor, and referring to Barron by name, rather than “that boy.”

The doctors were first alerted to the issue by an anonymous call from Mar-a-Lago. The source said he’s played hundreds of rounds of golf with the president. “This last time, he put in his actual score. It was shocking. We’re all very alarmed,” the source said.

In addition, White House staff alerted security after they entered the president’s bedroom today. One housekeeper, who refused to give her name for fear of losing her job, said, “The bed was made, his bathrobe hung up, and all his G.I. Joes were neatly lined up on the shelf. Honestly, we thought someone had broken in.”

Secret Service finally located President Trump in the oval office. “He was reading his daily briefs. That’s when we knew something was very wrong,” the official said.

Doctor Conley refused to comment any further, only to say that an MRI of the president’s brain would be performed immediately.

Lesley Leben