Warning: Reading this post about Woody Allen may cause Schadenfreude, yawns or froth around the mouth! *Take the froth – it’s like Starbucks!
I hate to admit this but as a die-hard ‘Woody’ fan, two of my favorite movies of his are where the main character gets away with murder!
And, I’m not alone. Many armchair analysts googled ‘Woody’ & ‘Narcissism’ & concluded his life’s being played out on our $12.50 & want our money back! Oh, & $6 Popcorn!
But, it’s not all true-to-life, Woody admits he occasionally steals ideas for his movies from Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams & Little Lulu Comic Books!
Playing Devil’s Advocate, these are just musings as there was no trial, he’s a free man & still makes a new movie every year that I would run to see if they aren’t blocked from release in the country I’ve always watched them in.
Like most courts of public opinion, there are three camps: Those who believe the testimony of the child-now-adult adopted daughter, the alleged sexual molester or those lucky few who don’t give a damn!
For my own safety, I will be judiciously satirical & hopefully you don’t figure it out! But, if you do see an Elephant in the room – do what I do, hide it in your pajamas!
By most grocery store rack accounts, it seems when this comic genius is not busy being an International Filmmaker, he gets a little twisted in his personal life & does creepy inappropriate things that in the light of day look like creepy inappropriate things!
But come on – shacking up with the woman who lived in a shoe that had so many children she didn’t know what to do but act in your movies – is quite a household!
Little did Woody consider that this now-banshee-woman may have had residual PSTD symptoms from starring in “Rosemary’s Baby”, not to mention getting dumped by Frank Sinatra her first husband once removed & married again – no, to another guy!
But I have to give it to Mia Farrow! Having to explain the DNA of Woody’s baby to the world & Woody, takes the courage & chutzpah of the many cuckold faces of Eve when she had to do it!
All I can say is, ‘Father’s Day’ must look like Musical Chairs over there!
“I’m going to give my psychiatrist one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes”!
Even Sigmund Freud looked down at the couple & said “WTF”!
Rubbing his hands together, Freud saw a vengeful mother of 14 & a moral deficit man with enough neuroses & bankroll clout to create 50 films & still had time to proposition his partner’s older daughter & see a Knicks Game! “Payday, Payday”!
Well in 1992, after 12 years of unmarried bliss & a few observations & suspicions, Mia took Woody to court where he lost custody of the last 3 children & got visiting rights of only 2 & rightfully so. (if only just in case, right?)
Some on Social Media say that’s not enough & think he should’ve left the country, opened a Fruit Stand & roomed with Roman Polanski!
And, some think he’s just plain un-American when he wrote:
“The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty”!
Now, HBO has unleashed a docu-series with old home Video taken by the actress/mother of the child’s recollection – which may turn out to be an award-winning performance, depending on which side you’re on!
Love him or hate him, if 86 year old Woody makes it out alive without leaving us another ‘tell-all’ movie and $6 Popcorn – we may never get to hear his last confessions that keep us up at night.
But, think of it this way…
“We’ll always have “Midnight in Paris”!
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