Putin’s Top Ten Excuses for Russian Invasion of Ukraine

Invasion of Ukraine
Putin: “Seemed like a good idea at the time!”

Here are Putin’s Top Ten excuses for the Russian invasion of Ukraine:

10. Invasion of Ukraine will make the James Bond franchise seem relevant again

9. We had promised Stalin we’d cause another famine there someday

8. For the insurance money

7. Finally going to find Hunter Biden‘s missing server

6. Putin intent on finding a Members Only jacket he left in a Kiev nightclub in 1989

5. They’re hiding Bin Laden. Hey, it worked for the U.S.

4. Putin needs the resources of Ukraine’s poison mines

3. It’s the vodka talking

2. Honestly, it’s just hard to tell one vast, bleak post-industrial wasteland from another

1. Straight out of Borscht

Chris O'Leary