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[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]

Breaking: El Chapo and Trump Both Missing

Mar 192016
 By , March 19, 2016

Bizarre simultaneous disappearance of Trump and El Chapo explained in this exclusive report.

On the same day, the notorious El Chapo and the equally notorious Donald Trump have disappeared, according to reports.

El Chapo, Donald TrumpThe bizarre story behind their disappearance was revealed in an exclusive scoop from an anonymous source: In a secret meeting in Moscow, world leaders from all the major European nations along with Canada and Mexico gathered last week to discuss the danger to the world if Donald Trump were to win the U.S. Presidency.

With unanimous agreement, the following plan was hatched. Putin summoned the most seasoned KGB veterans who made contact with the CIA, the Secret Service, and the head of the Mexican army to coordinate efforts. A deal was cut with the drug lord El Chapo, promising his freedom if he had his henchmen capture Donald Trump and take him through their elaborate set of underground tunnels to a permanent locale in one of El Chapo’s secret hideaways.

Since El Chapo’s organization has more resources than Trump and has never gone bankrupt, the leaders felt secure that for once Trump could not buy his way out.

Asked how anyone could conspire to release one of the world’s most dangerous criminals, the source simply replied, “It was the lesser of two evils.”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.

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