[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Nikki Haley Proposes Requiring Social Media License to Post

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Presidential Candidate Nikki Haley: ‘When I’m president, you’ll need a social media license to drive around the internet.’

In an exclusive interview with SNN gobbeldygook reporter Knick Knack Paddywack, GOP presidential candidate Nikki Haley stated, “Any idiot can post anything on social media platforms without revealing their true identity and location. I will change all that. You will need a government issued ID — a social media license — to post online, and your true identity will be displayed on all your posts.”

Nikki Haley, social media license
Nikki Haley, running on requiring a social media license to call her names online. Photo: Bill Clark (Roll Call), Public Domain.

When asked about persons outside the US, she stated that without the ID, their posts will not be seen on US screens.

When asked if this is not censorship, she replied, “No this is protecting Americans from world lunacy. You’re welcome.”

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SNN Words to Live By

“Shoo shoo gobbagobbadiddlit.” — Little Eva, Let’s Turkey Trot, 1963 song.

“If you want some, your ass better be bad enough to take some.” — Pro wrestler Booker T.

“Life is one big pressure.” — George Stienbrenner.

Ted Holland