POTUS Joe Biden: Talk Radio Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show announcer interviews POTUS Joe Biden.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is the 46th President of the United States Joe Biden.

POTUS Joe Biden, DonkeyHotey — POTUS Joe Biden. Image by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.

JERRY

Good morning, Mr. President.

POTUS JOE BIDEN

Let me correct you, Jerry. I’m the Vice President.

JERRY

Sorry folks. The show is ending.

Jerry signals the announcer to cut the microphones.

ANNOUNCER

Why?

JERRY

Go play in busy traffic.

BIDEN

I was just ready to give the Gettysburg Address that I wrote last night.

JERRY

Look. I’m a fan. You’ve had may accomplishments in 4 years. You saved our democracy.

BIDEN

I passed a Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, got the country out of COVID, strengthened NATO, put the economy on a fast track—lowest unemployment, highest stock market ever.

JERRY

Exactly my point. It’s time to leave while you’re on top. C’mon, 81 years old. In a recent poll taken, 76% of Americans think you are too old to run, as opposed to 63% for criminal Donald Trump. A huge gap.

BIDEN

I don’t pay attention to Poles. Their outdoor hockey team drowned in spring training.

JERRY

America is teetering on democracy and only you can save it.

BIDEN

That’s what I’ve been telling Americans.

JERRY

But that’s not what Americans are telling you. They want a president that connects with a younger generation. You are from the Vietnam War era, they want Star Wars. There are qualified Democratic leaders that can defeat the Trumpster in 2024.

BIDEN

Who?

JERRY

Congressman Eric Swalwell, Senator Seth Moulton, Governor Josh Shapiro, Governor Phil Murphy. Step down. Write an autobiography and enjoy retirement.

BIDEN

What will happen to Camel, Kammy? Shucks, Kamala Harris.

JERRY

She’ll be fine. Kamala is just Biden her time.

BIDEN

How do I tell our NATO allies like Germany’s Helmet Kohl and France’s Francois Mitterrand that I’m resigning?

JERRY

No worries. My dead mother sees them every day in the cafeteria. She’ll handle it. Don’t think of yourself, think of your country.

BIDEN

You’re right, Jerry. I can save democracy twice.

JERRY

It will be your legacy, Joe.

BIDEN

Done deal. I’m announcing my resignation tomorrow.

JERRY

You’re a hero.

BIDEN

(winks) My favorite sub.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.