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Politicians Who Lose Should Have to Give Back Campaign Donations and Worse, Says Artificial Ignorance Entity Candidate

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

2024 presidential candidate Artificial Ignorance Entity Hoiman says losers should return the money raised, and much worse.

In a recent interview with SNN Political Bullshit reporter Strawe Polle, 2024 Presidential candidate Artificial Ignorance Entity Hoiman said that when a politicians lose an election they should have to refund campaign contributions.

Artificial Ignorance Entity remembers Gorgeous George, postcard.
Gorgeous George postcard. Image: CurtTeich, eBay item, Public Domain.

Hoiman says that while his opponents Biden, Trump and Haley have solicited and spent hundreds of millions of dollars, he has not and never will solicit or spend corporate or individual contributions. He insists that the losers should give the cash back and worse.

Hoiman states that his lone human guilty pleasure is watching professional wrestling matches from the 1950’s and 60’s. Hoiman said that back in the day, bad guy wrestlers who lost suffered embarrassing consequences. Many had to leave town.

He said he remembers that in 1959 the great Gorgeous George lost a match in Toronto and had his golden locks shaved off in the middle of the ring. Bobby the Brain Heenan lost a match to Greg Gagne and was forced to put on a weasel suit and hop around the ring.

He said that his favorite is from Texas in a match between Johnny Weaver and Tough Tony Borne. The loser had to wash a live jackass in the middle of the ring. Can you imagine Donald Trump washing a jackass after losing the election?

So the loser of the 2024 Presidential election should give the money back, have his head shaved, wear a weasel suit, wash a jackass and then leave town for good.

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Ted Holland