[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Best Costumes of White House Halloween Ball Announced

White House Halloween Ball Costume Winners!

The Reuters News Service has published the results of the voting on who (and what) wore the best costumes to the 2013 Halloween Ball at the White House. A hearty congratulations to all those who received a mention and a silver crucifix to Dick Cheney in the hope that he won’t be disturbing us in our dreams anymore.

White House Halloween BallFIRST PLACE: George W. Bush – Came as a Court Jester.

2nd PLACE: Nancy Pelosi – Came as Wonder Woman, although it is suspected that her costume was well padded with wadded up newspapers.

3rd PLACE: Donald Trump – Came as a balding orangutang.

Honorable Mentions:

Condoleezza Rice – Came as Uncle Tom.

Putin – Not only came as a Czar but is a Czar.

Obama – Appeared as the Wizard of Oz from The Wiz, only in his version, he has control of the flying monkeys.

Donald Rumsfeld – Forgot where he was going and came in his pajamas.

John Boehner – Came to the Halloween Ball as the Mock-turtle from Alice in Wonderland and cried to keep in character. He originally considered going to come as an orange Mr. Kool-aid.

Ted Cruz – Came as the Grim Reaper, out looking for people with no insurance, especially liberals.

Hillary Clinton – was a female Machiavelli.

Hugh Hefner – Appeared as a flasher in a trench coat who only flashes 19 year old women.

Scarlett Johansson – Came to the Halloween Ball as Scarlett Johansson and believe me, that was enough.

George Clooney – Came as Fidel Castro, complete with cigar and attitude.

Lindsay Lohan – Typhoid Mary, only with a variety of different diseases that we can’t mention here.

Dick Cheney – Coming as himself. Won scariest costume award. He was going to come as the Tin man but couldn’t find his heart when he needed it.

Joe Biden might have won for his Invisible Man costume, but no one could find him.

Roger Freed