How big is it?
Just how long is Donald Trump’s schlong
If I said just an inch, would I be wrong
Or maybe it is as big as King Kong’s
But surely not a whopping furlong
For if it were it wouldn’t take long
For gawkers to gather in a huge throng
To see such a rare, magnificent dong
And hail the vain dolt to which it belongs
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Rick Blum has been writing humorous prose and poetry for more than 25 years during stints as a nightclub owner, high-tech manager, market research mogul and, most recently, alter kaker. Currently, he is holed up in his Massachusetts office trying to pen the perfect bio, which he plans to share as soon as he stops laughing at the sheer futility of this effort.