Melania’s Tweet Moratorium Tweaks Twit

Now that Melania has climbed into bed with the President & joined other 1st ladies who have done the same…

No — let me start over.

Now that Melania has joined Martha, Dolley & Mamie in their duty to sleep next to their husbands, she’s ready to rule the roost:

MELANIA

About the tweeting.

DONALD

About the sex.

MELANIA

You told me you’d stop.

DONALD

Did Obama stop smoking?

DONALD

Okay, smoke and tweet!

MELANIA

No — one!

DONALD

You should sell my steaks.

MELANIA

Vhy?

DONALD

No reason — they’re just tanking right now.

MELANIA

I got enough to do with my son.

DONALD

Right — immaculate conception!

MELANIA

Yes, I did it alone — you were tweeting.

DONALD

I’m ambidextrous.

MELANIA

You could’ve phoned it in!

DONALD

Well, I did!

MELANIA

I feel like Princess Diana — there are 3 of us in this marriage!

DONALD

Putin — don’t worry.  It won’t be long before he cuts me a check — I mean a break!

MELANIA

No, it’s your phone!

DONALD

If it means that much to you – it’s gone.

MELANIA

You wouldn’t lie to me, vould you?

DONALD

On a stack of Bibles.

MELANIA

Where vould ve get them at this time of night?

DONALD

In my country, that’s called bamboozled.

DONALD

In mine — it’s Tuesday!

 

Trump tweet

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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