[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

In Real Shocker, ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Host Pat Sajak Snubs Blond

Instead, the game show host flirts with homely Wheel of Fortune contestant.

BURBANK, CA — In a move that shocked the television viewing world, “Wheel of Fortune” host Pat Sajak flirted with a hideously ugly contestant, and in the process, snubbed a gorgeous blond contestant.

Wheel of FortuneAn audible gasp could be heard coming from the television studio audience as they witnessed history in the making. The strange behavior from America’s favorite game show host even had the show’s producers puzzled. “We knew something was seriously wrong. Pat never flirts with anyone but the blond bombshells,” said Amy Wheeler, one of the show’s long-time producers. “We really didn’t know what to do at the moment, so we quickly cut to commercial.”

Rita Higgins, the strikingly homely contestant from Rapid City, South Dakota who was the apple of Sajak’s eye that evening, could be seen grinning from ear to ear. “I’m just so happy! I was expecting Pat to do what everyone expects him to do and flirt with the dazzling damsel while totally ignoring the rest of us,” Higgins told the Associated Press.

The bombshell in question, Rose Cook of Falls Church, Virginia, was visibly distraught. “I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. Do you know how many Facebook likes I get when I change my profile picture? Well, do you?” Sajak didn’t have much to say to Cook during the taping either. When Cook failed to make the bonus round, Sajak said to Cook, “Here’s some party gifts now hit the bricks.”

An explanation of the horrifying event was given in a press release by Sajak’s publicist: “Mr. Sajak wasn’t feeling well and took a little too much cold medicine. Pat would like to apologize to his many adoring fans. He is at home resting and promises to be back to his old self soon.”

Despite the melee, “Wheel of Fortune” had their best ratings ever with a .76 share, slightly edging out HGTV’s “Love It Or List It.”

Dave Richards

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