[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Millennial Shocked to Learn that Podcasting Is Not a New Concept

Hey, goobers, podcasting, previously known as “audio stories,” have been a thing for like 100 years.

HARTFORD — The podcast industry has grown by leaps and bounds since its humble beginnings, dating to around 2004. Although anyone born around this time doesn’t know a world without podcasting, the concept isn’t really a new one. This came as a big surprise to Ashley Smith, CEO and founder of the podcasting company Ashely Smith Artisan Media, headquartered in Hartford, Connecticut.

podcasting“Like, I was shocked to learn that pretty much the same concept of the podcast has been like, around for a long time,” Smith said on Tuesday. “I didn’t have a clue until we got an almost perfect resume from someone the other day and invited him to interview. He had like 30 years of experience booking and interviewing guests, editing audio, and posting shows online. He even said that this concept of audio shows and dramas has been around since the 1920’s, but I find that hard to believe. I mean, there would have been no way to get the audio into your buggy or log cabin without Bluetooth,” Smith surmised.

Gary “The Red Hot” Scott interviewed for the Associate Producer role with Ashley Smith Artisan Media. “Yeah, Ashley hadn’t really heard of terrestrial radio. The concept is simple, come up with your show concept, research the topic, book guests, produce the show, edit the audio, post online, don’t go over budget. Boom, done, onto the next show! I could do this in my sleep,” Scott said about potentially working in podcasting.

Ultimately Gary “The Red Hot” Scott didn’t get asked in for a second interview. “Great resume! Had all the right skills and experience. He had even helped to develop some of the digital audio programs we use every day in this industry. But he has zero experience working with podcasts. I don’t really care if he worked on a 100,000 watt radio station. Like, what’s a watt anyway? But the biggest strike against him is his lack of a college degree. This is podcasting and this is big time! We are changing the world one podcast at a time! That’s why I am part of the greatest generation, like, everrrr!” Smith said.

“I was definitely bummed,” said Scott as he headed to the unemployment office. “This podcasting stuff is a bigger racket than public radio. Instead of five people to do the work of one person they use ten people to do the work of one person. Man, what a gravy train! $80 per hour to run a control board and edit some audio, wow! I wanted to go to college, I really did, but I grew up dirt poor. I just didn’t have a choice but to get out there and carve out a living.”

So, the search continues for Ashley Smith to find the perfect candidate. “That mean man Gary ‘The Red Hot’ Scott had the gall to say that we are perpetrating economic discrimination. Well, like, its not my fault I grew up in a wealthy family! And College is hard work! It’s not easy partying all night and showing to class at 10AM. I really need talk to our HR department about weeding out these uneducated share-cropping peasant losers! There must be a bot for that,” Smith added.

Dave Richards