The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Kanye West and Reverend Al Sharpton

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Kanye West and Reverend Al Sharpton.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

Kanye West by Steve Jurvetson
Kanye West, image by Steve Jurvetson, flickr.com.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Yes, it is. Today on the show my guests are rapper Kanye West and political activist Reverend Al Sharpton.

JERRY

Hello, Rev.

REVEREND AL SHARPTON

Howdy. I always say, “Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”

JERRY

Very inspirational. Not.

JERRY

Hello to you, Kanye.

KANYE WEST

Keepin it real, Duncan. Man, my greatest pain in life is that I’ll never be able to see myself perform live.

JERRY

Sounds like you are suffering from insanity.

KANYE

Nope. I’m enjoying every minute of it.

SHARPTON

You’re a Mother, my Brother. You support Trump and he’s against Black Lives Matter.

KANYE

Orange Lies Matter. Make America Great Again.

JERRY

I understand that you’re running for president as an independent.

KANYE

Yeah. I gon hit up my peeps tomorrow.

SHARPTON

Independent my ass. Kanye and diapers have one thing in common. They should be changed regularly and for the same reason. How you going to help Americans?

KANYE

Let me tell you, Box of Rocks. Gonna legalize pot. Pot in every chicken. No more Popeyes. We slim down America. Jobs for everyone who wanna work. I’m gonna try to get unemployment to go up and I think I’ll succeed. But my main mission is to fight poverty. Gonna wrestle homeless people every weekend on pay per view television.

SHARPTON

If I paid you to think, you could cash in your check at the penny arcade.

KANYE

Duncan. I wanna give a shout out to my wife Kim Kardashian.

JERRY

I hope when Kim goes to the beach she doesn’t swim.

KANYE

Why?

JERRY

The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean. Go ahead, give her a holler.

SHARPTON

Are you really happily married to big booty Kardashian? I heard rumors about infidelity. Just sayin.

KANYE

I wrote a love song for her, homie. It go like this.

KANYE

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty. Big, big booty, what you got a big booty. I’m always here for you, Dawg.

Jerry and Sharpton start dancing and singing.

SHARPTON

Keepin it real.

JERRY

Big booty, big booty.

KANYE

What the dilly? You clowns have two left feet.

KANYE

You embarrassed the King of Hip Hop.

JERRY

What about Eminem?

KANYE

What about M&M? I’m a Snickers man.

JERRY

I’m talking about the rapper.

KANYE

I know about the wrapper. How else you gonna keep fresh?

SHARPTON

Hey, Einstein. Under the leadership of your honky Donald J. Trump, everything has gotten worse. The coronavirus, racism and unemployment are out of control. You got some explaining to do.

KANYE

Trump said, “It is what it is.” That good enough for me.

JERRY

Let me tell you what’s not good enough. You.

SHARPTON

He’s a sitcom. Kanye compares himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing either.

KANYE

I’m gonna take votes away from Biden in Wisconsin and Colorado. Just waitin to get on the ballot.

JERRY

Colorado has bison, Wisconsin has cheese. What is Michigan known for?

KANYE

Clueless.

JERRY

Lead poisoning. See you tomorrow.

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