[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Epstein and the QAnon Connection

Is QAnon a Republican cover?

This reporter has just discovered the origins of QAnon. While cleaning out his office on the island, one of the staff discovered a hidden file in which Jeffrey Epstein outlined his plan for creating QAnon to distract from his own pedophilia and that of top Republican leaders. What better plan than to accuse their opponents and put the Democrats on the defensive.

qanon
Image via www.vpnsrus.com.

His first step was hiring screen writers from the underground child pornography business to write various scenarios that QAnon could spread across social media. He loaned them his diary, which he thought would offer abundant material.

Next he hired social media experts, who said he had to tap two groups in particular: those who use social media and the internet for sexual material, as they would be avid supporters, using QAnon to cover their own proclivities and offenses. Next would be the evangelicals, though there might be a significant overlap between the two groups. However, he could count on the evangelicals to give it a religious flavor, which would add another layer of protection.

The media person also suggested adding in militia and NRA groups, who are always looking for any excuse to lock and load. He put out the word to specific Republican leaders, suggesting that they indicate that they didn’t even know what QAnon was, so their connection would be safe.

After Epstein’s death, the technicians running the enterprise continued on, since Ghislaine made sure that their salaries would continue, as it helped her own cover, particularly when she was on the run. Ghislaine contacted people in important positions in the U.S. and other countries who had “partied” with Epstein, and money has rolled in to maintain their anonymity and further fund QAnon.

The staff regularly drops acid together to keep their followers enthralled with absurd stories.

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