[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Shirtless, Overall-Clad Arkansas Secretary of Health Claims Covid Under Control in State

Arkansas Secretary of Health Krenshaw Pickens says he has no worries about Covid in Arkansas.

LITTLE ROCK — Despite an alarming resurgence of Covid-19 in the state, a shirtless, overall-clad Arkansas Secretary of Health today assured residents the virus was under control.

Arkansas Secretary of Health“We ain’t worried ‘bout it none,” said Dr. Krenshaw Pickens, before spitting into a large metal bucket and drinking a yellowish-green liquid from a mason jar.

“I reckon folk’ll be just fine if they heed a hardy breakfast and take to an early slumber,” said the state’s highest ranking health official while chewing on what appeared to be a cattail stem.

When presented with the rising rates of infection over the past month, Pickens dismissed the statistics as “city talk” and went on to explain that Arkansas had a vast array of “tonics and elixirs” to help treat the deadly virus rampaging through the state.

The press conference ended abruptly when the Secretary ran off to help corral some loose cattle that had wondered in from old man Higgins’ ranch across the way.

J Crock