Just like sex: A racy list of edibles that’ll keep you coming back for more!
Okay, these “like sex” foods are just suggestions…on a slow News Day…other than War, Hurricanes, Floods & oh yes, Covid!
Not that I need a substitute for sex, mind you – this un-scientific study is for Emergency Use Only & not yet Approved but highly recommended for Texas residents!
Just to be clear, these are not aphrodisiacs – these take the place of sex!
You can eat these alone, with a eunuch or an inflatable doll – I don’t care! I just can’t guarantee what would happen if someone joined you or you ate more than 1!
Let’s face it, you & I have been using these for years & never gave it a thought – but here’s a reminder of the Top 10 Common Foods that are just like sex:
10. PEANUT BUTTER CUPS
9. KRAFT MACARONI & CHEESE
8. KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS
7. HOT APPLE PIE ALA MODE
6. MASHED POTATOES & GRAVY
5. FIERY CHEESE DOODLES
4. SRIRACHA SAUCE on everything
3. McRIB (for the Neanderthal in you)
And #1 HALVAH
(A traditional sweet candy made from sesame paste originating from the Middle East)
But, in case you’re bored with those – here’s my list of Top 10 Foods YOU’D NEVER GUESS that are just like sex:
10. FRUIT CAKE (make up your own damn list) ha ha
9. CREAM OF WHEAT
8. SPAGHETTI O’s
7. COTTAGE CHEESE
6. MARSHMALLOW PEEPS
4. WATER CHESTNUTS
3. RICE CAKES
And #1 KALE
No silly, you don’t EAT it – rub it on your private parts!
P.S. If this article made you feel the least bit sexy – you’re in worse shape than I am! ha ha
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