Top 10 Foods That Are Just Like Sex!

,

Foods Just Like Sex

Just like sex: A racy list of edibles that’ll keep you coming back for more!

Okay, these “like sex” foods are just suggestions…on a slow News Day…other than War, Hurricanes, Floods & oh yes, Covid!

Not that I need a substitute for sex, mind you – this un-scientific study is for Emergency Use Only & not yet Approved but highly recommended for Texas residents!

Just to be clear, these are not aphrodisiacs – these take the place of sex!

You can eat these alone, with a eunuch or an inflatable doll – I don’t care!  I just can’t guarantee what would happen if someone joined you or you ate more than 1!

Let’s face it, you & I have been using these for years & never gave it a thought – but here’s a reminder of the Top 10 Common Foods that are just like sex:

10.  PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

9.   KRAFT MACARONI & CHEESE

8.  KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS

7.  HOT APPLE PIE ALA MODE

6.  MASHED POTATOES & GRAVY

5.  FIERY CHEESE DOODLES

4.  SRIRACHA SAUCE on everything

3.  McRIB (for the Neanderthal in you)

2.  BACON

And #1  HALVAH

Havlah

(A traditional sweet candy made from sesame paste originating from the Middle East)

But, in case you’re bored with those – here’s my list of Top 10 Foods YOU’D NEVER GUESS that are just like sex:

10.  FRUIT CAKE (make up your own damn list)  ha ha

9.  CREAM OF WHEAT

8.  SPAGHETTI O’s

7.  COTTAGE CHEESE

6.  MARSHMALLOW PEEPS

5.  TOFU

4.  WATER CHESTNUTS

3.  RICE CAKES

2.  MATZOH

And #1  KALE 

Foods Just Like Sex

No silly, you don’t EAT it – rub it on your private parts!

P.S.  If this article made you feel the least bit sexy – you’re in worse shape than I am!  ha ha

Marilyn Sands
Latest posts by Marilyn Sands (see all)
Share
Share