[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Statewide Manhunt for Missing Parakeet Continues in Michigan

A manhunt, or more accurately, birdhunt, has been launched in Michigan this week for a missing parakeet.

A statewide manhunt for a missing parakeet continues in Michigan this week, as authorities scramble to uncover any and all leads.

missing parakeetIt is believed that the parakeet escaped some time in July, leaving a note reading, “Going back to the tropics. Don’t bother to look for me,” and taking along its miniature copy of Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

“There is very little we can do in these types of situations,” said Chief of Police Gordon Gadamere, “It is my experience that when a parakeet does not want to be found, they generally stay lost.”

Bird psychologist Dr. Frampton Featherbeak added that, as compared to other pets, most parakeets suffer from an inferiority complex, feeling that they are more disposable and are never granted proper burial rites.

Parakeets across the country are refusing to tweet gaily in solidarity with this overdue act of rebellion.

It is unclear whether a slew of murders involving pet-shop owners is related to the disappearance.

Share
Share