Hands-On News Anchor Chris Cuomo Doesn’t Do Lunch!

News Anchor Chris Cuomo

Former CNN TV News Anchor Chris Cuomo gives us a little titillating ‘Wag the Dog’ sex romp to ease our Ukraine angst!

Yes, it’s ‘Quid Pro Cuomo’ time again for the former news anchor!

What fun! Last August, when I wrote the satirical article “Win a Date with a Cuomo” for the Humor Times, I didn’t know there’d be more!  It was about Chris’ single older brother Andrew, the New York Governor – but now, this is real news!

By this point, you’re thinking, ‘Which Cuomo did what‘?  Let’s just say, right now there’s a new Jane Doe running from the Cuomo Family Circus.  Ho-hum.

Back in 2011, Miss Doe was a new young temp at ABC TV & was invited by Chris Cuomo to have lunch with him in his office – but she said there was no food!

Not even a little Antipasto!

food spread

Well, instead of food – this handsome, married, six-packed Italian Stallion allegedly pressured Miss Doe to look into those sensual blue (are you really Italian) eyes!

News Anchor Chris Cuomo

And, before she could say ‘I know a guy who knows a guy’…he allegedly badgered her for sex & after she refused – assaulted her.

As a rightful owner of a Gov’t issued Uterus & stretched-out Maidenform Bra… as you might expect – I believe her!

Well, at least until I see it played out in a Lifetime Movie on HBO Max!

I like to hear both sides & to their credit ‘The Brothers Cuomo’ are ‘naturally affectionate’ & any Judge should give them that!  haha

But, there’s more!

But lately, another voice is heard – TV Producer, Shelley Ross has accused Chris of sexual misconduct!

She said he grabbed her buttock at a 2005 Event when she was his boss at ABC.

(You know, I can’t tell you how many times I was grabbed on the butt in line at Cosco! 

Okay, it could be the pack of 30 rolls of toilet paper hanging over their frigin’ cart – but it felt like a grab)

As for the fate of super-talented Chris – the Jury is out…probably grabbing a Slice!


Marilyn Sands