Dinner for Two at the White House — But Who Ordered the Smoking Gun?

The Trump/Comey White House transcript revealed!

White House

I just happened to get my hands on the awkward, yet much sought after Trump/Comey White House Dinner transcript and neither one remembers who invited who or who ordered the smoking gun.

DONALD TRUMP:

So how’s the wife?

JAMES COMEY:

Good.

TRUMP:

How are those Petunia’s comin’ this year?

COMEY:

Good.

TRUMP:

Could  you speak closer to the cake, please.

COMEY:

Hi Pence, wife’s Poker Night?

MIKE PENCE:

No, I’m not joining you — just here to check the sound level of the cake — I mean cork in that bottle.

TRUMP:

Go away, Mike — don’t you see we’re lying here!

Yes, drink, drink — Jim, let me top that off for you.

COMEY:

No, no cutting down.

TRUMP:

Start tomorrow!

COMEY:

Were you gonna ask me something?

TRUMP:

It was nothing.  Testing. Testing.

COMEY:

Whad’ya say?

TRUMP:

Have another roll.  You’re like a son to me, butter?  Would you consider me, not my staff, of course not under investigation?

COMEY:

I can’t say one way or another.

TRUMP:

Well, if I say – in the future, mind you — that I didn’t mention the word ‘Israel’ — would you believe me?

COMEY:

You mean, if Russians were in your office and you were just showing off Intel?

TRUMP:

Come in, girls!

Salsa music plays as 10 scantily-dressed women form a Conga Line.

I’m sorry – wrong pic.

White House dancers

There you go.

COMEY:

Check!

TRUMP:

You don’t pay — the public pays…you should be here on the weekends!

COMEY:

I’m ready for my cake now.

TRUMP:

The night is young — you like sleepovers?

COMEY:

I’m married.

TRUMP:

And?

A ravishing blonde slides onto Comey’s lap.

WOMAN ON LAP:

You’ve got long legs.

COMEY:

How do you know — I’m sitting down…and I’m leaving!

When Comey stands, her legs hug his waist ‘monkey style’ as she reaches for a piece of chocolate cake.

TRUMP:

No — don’t eat tha…

The woman bites into the cake & they all hear a crunch.

COMEY:

That better be nuts or we’re all gonna meet the Fudge Train at the station!

***

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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