[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Meet the Press: Matt Gaetz Dumps on Liz Cheney

On Meet the Press, Matt Gaetz said that Liz Cheney “just hasn’t been getting any lately” and that he “can understand why.”

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R. FL) appeared Sunday morning on Meet the Press in a contentious exchange with NBC host Kristen Welker. Welker began the interview by asking Gaetz his reaction to a remark by former Rep. Liz Cheney (R. WY), who, in an address at Dartmouth College, characterized the Florida congressman as a “feckless asshole.”

Meet the Press, Matt Gaetz hates Liz Cheney
Matt Gaetz hates Liz Cheney, who appears here, second from right, at Fiddleback Ranch, near Douglas, Wyoming, in 2019.
Image by Lance Cheung, Public Domain.

Gaetz, said Cheney, “bites the big one” and is a disgrace.

Gaetz replied that Cheney “just hasn’t been getting any lately” and that he “can understand why.” He added he didn’t “want get personal” with his former Republican colleague.

Rumors have been rife that House Republicans are anxious to oust the four-term congressman from their caucus, for his part in vacating the position of Speaker of the House. Kevin McCarthy was exiled from the Speaker’s position last week. In his own defense, Gaetz said that McCarthy was a “perfidious liar,” a “social outcast,” and that he “still wets his bed.”

Recriminations are not new to Matt Gaetz. In 2020 a two-year investigation was begun into allegations of sex-trafficking. Several of Gaetz’s associates were sentenced to prison, although Gaetz himself escaped indictment for crossing state lines to have sex with underage girls.

Speaking again in his own defense, Gaetz said that while he may have had sex with underage girls, he didn’t cross any state lines to do so. All his sexual liaisons, he said, happened “deep in the heart of the Sunshine State.”

Welker queried Gaetz on his animosity toward the former Speaker. “Congressman,” she asked bluntly, “why do you have such a hard-on for the ex-Speaker?” Gaetz replied that that was his “natural state,” and then went on to ask Welker what she was doing after the show.

Bill Tope