Reporting Live from the Nation’s Capitol in Washington – the Winners of The 2018 State of the Union…
BEST ACTOR
President Donald Trump
BEST INANIMATE OBJECT & BEST DETACHMENT PERFORMANCE
VP Mike Pence & Paul Ryan
BEST CONTRIVED SPEECH
2018 State of the Union Address
BEST POOPER-SCOOPER
VP Mike Pence
BEST CO-PRESIDENT, SPEECHWRITER & PRICK… (I mean GOADER)
Stephen Miller
BEST CHESHIRE CAT
Mitch McConnell
BEST COOKIE
BEST MIDNIGHT RUNNER for Fries & NOTHINGBURGERS
Devin Nunes
BEST SIMMERER
Nancy Pilosi
BEST SKEPTIC
Chuck Shumer
BEST BOOKS-COOKER
Steve Mnuchin
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Sarah Huckabee Sanders
BEST KEPT SECRET BREAKDOWN
Gen. John Kelly
BEST ALTERNATIVE FACTS SPINNER
(currently on ‘Tongue Leave’ & miraculously untouched by Mueller, so far)
Kellyanne Conway
& MOST PATIENT BENEFICIARY
Melania Trump
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