The Academy Awards Go to Washington

Reporting Live from the Nation’s Capitol in Washington – the Winners of The 2018 State of the Union…

Washington

BEST ACTOR

President Donald Trump

BEST INANIMATE OBJECT & BEST DETACHMENT PERFORMANCE

VP Mike Pence & Paul Ryan

BEST CONTRIVED SPEECH

2018 State of the Union Address

BEST POOPER-SCOOPER

VP Mike Pence

Washington

BEST CO-PRESIDENT, SPEECHWRITER & PRICK… (I mean GOADER)

Stephen Miller

BEST CHESHIRE CAT

Mitch McConnell

BEST COOKIE

Jeff Sessions

BEST MIDNIGHT RUNNER for Fries & NOTHINGBURGERS

Devin Nunes

BEST SIMMERER

Nancy Pilosi

BEST SKEPTIC

Chuck Shumer

BEST BOOKS-COOKER

Steve Mnuchin

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

BEST KEPT SECRET BREAKDOWN

Gen. John Kelly

BEST ALTERNATIVE FACTS SPINNER

(currently on ‘Tongue Leave’ & miraculously untouched by Mueller, so far)

Kellyanne Conway

& MOST PATIENT BENEFICIARY

Melania Trump

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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